Two Bridal Shower FAQ

Two Most Asked Questions Answered

Dear Polite One,

My cousin has been married three times and for each, I've given her a shower and wedding gift. Am I obligated to give a shower gift for her fourth?

Empty Wallet

Dear Empty Wallet,

No, you are not obligated to give her either gift. Those who have given shower gifts before are not obligated to give again.

Dear Polite One,

My wedding was canceled. Since we used most of our shower gifts, may I keep them?

Oops!

Dear Oops,

I'm sorry about your situation, but these gifts were given in anticipation of your wedding. So, it is expected that you return these gifts as they are. Alternately, you could offer to pay for the items.

Interesting Shower Tidbit

Most likely, the term "bridal shower" came about because of a tradition of placing wedding gifts inside a parasol. The parasol was placed over the heads of the wedded couple and opened to a "shower of gifts" on them both. Cute…but sounds possibly painful!

More From The Polite One

Bridal Shower Q & A: Multiple Parties & What to Give?

4 Tips to Prevent Bridal Shower Craziness

Are Bridal Showers Relevant for Today's Woman?

Comments

4 of the Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered

After decades of answering etiquette questions, especially about weddings, I’d like to share a few of those questions that represent the majority of concerns. Q: Is an invited coworker obligated to spend a certain amount? I'm going to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Should I buy both gifts off the registry? A: Unfortunately, yes. This is one of the biggest reasons I feel that the gift-less wedding shower is the smartest route for us to follow today. Why should the couple receive more than one gift per guest? It just doesn't make any sense and isn't fair to guests. Q : Registries feel so impersonal. Is there any way to make it more personal? A: I honestly can't think of any way to make a registry more personal. If a couple decides to register, they should choose items from the low end of the price range as well as the bigger ticket items, so the list doesn't appear to be a greed-fest. Unfortunately, it can have th...

When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents Dear Polite One, On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents? Me First Dear Me First , We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past. In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend. So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order: Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row). If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order. The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats. Sincerely, The Polite One Seating Chart Dilemma Dear Polite One, I'm working ...

Do I wear nylons with strappy sandals for a fall evening wedding?

Dear Polite One, From what I have read on your site, I should wear a cocktail (little black dress or equivalent) to a fall evening wedding at a golf country club. Do, I need to wear nylons with my strappy sandals? Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin Dear Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin, Bravo on doing your attire homework! You are absolutely correct about your attire choice. Nylons aren't nearly as popular or expected due to our love of sandals. Strappy sandals look splendid with nice dresses, even in the winter. FYI: It is a faux pas to wear nylons with open-toed shoes. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to dress for a wedding as "the second wife"? How to Dress for Formal Wedding in New York ? What to wear to a formal evening wedding in Napa?

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