Got Wedding Etiquette?

Dear Polite One, It will soon be our 10-year anniversary and we would like to celebrate with a renewal of our vows since we were married in a very small civil ceremony. We would like to include our two children ages 5 and 8.  It would be a simple afternoon ceremony with a small cake and punch reception.   Afterward, we will take a cruise.   What does the ceremony consist of?   What is the proper attire? Suit?   What type of cake?   Could it be a wedding cake? How close to a wedding ceremony could it be and still appear polite ? Lucky Husband Dear Lucky Husband, Your celebration should be very nice since you are planning it as a simple anniversary party. Involving your children is very positive . Both of you should dress for the formality of the event.   You could wear a suit, but a sport coat and slacks would be better.   Your wife can dress in a daytime version of a cocktail dress that does not resemble a wedding dress. Your ch...

Dear Polite One, I recently married in the Bahamas with only 3 witnesses and no family. We want to host a simple ceremony and celebration once we arrive in the states. We plan to include a flower girl and ring bearer and my parents walking me down the aisle.     I understand that I shouldn't register or expect bridal showers, but many ask me where I'm registered and when I am having a shower. What should I do? For the reception, I want to have refreshments, dancing but no alcohol.   Is this proper manners ? Wants to share our joy Dear Wants to Share Our Joy, It isn't appropriate to host a second wedding or vow renewal.   It’s too soon after your first.   So, it is most appropriate to host a reception.   If you do host a vow renewal, there are no wedding elements, like attendants, including child attendants, and no one walks down the aisle with you.   You don't need an escort.   It is best if you and your husband walked in from the ...

  It seems that when a couple decides to marry it is just one joyous party after another until the final bash, better known as the wedding reception.   Scenes from the Wedding Crashers are now dancing in my head.   Sorry for the detour; moving on... Each party comes with its own set of etiquette rules and traditions.   For example, some pre-wedding parties are typically gift-giving events, such as the wedding shower, while the bachelor, bachelorette, and engagement parties are not.   And what about the wedding reception?   What if the couple decides to marry out of state and most close friends and relatives cannot attend?   Is it proper to host a belated reception?   And, if it is proper, how long after a wedding is it appropriate to host a reception?   So many questions. Perhaps a bit of Q & A can guide us toward being better, more polite, guests and hosts, while answering all those pesky questions.   Do I attend my friend'...

It seems that we all have strong feelings about what a wedding should be.   Many feel that it is the most important day of a couple’s life.   Well, it may be the most important day, so far, in a couple’s life.   But it is just another day for everyone else.   Because this is true, we must plan carefully not only focusing on our wedding but also focusing attention on our guests.   After all, we are hosts to our guests. Please Note Parents are no longer financially responsible for their children’s weddings.   This also means that the wedding is no longer a social event for parents.   How to Invite Guests to a Wedding in Vegas With No Reception? Dear Polite One, We will be getting married in Las Vegas and want to send out invitations to a select small group of people, as they have indicated that they would like to come.  This is only for a wedding (no reception).   How do you word this sort of invitation ?  Keep in mind t...

  Not far in our collective past, the bride’s parents were financially responsible for their daughter’s wedding.   This also gave them the opportunity to use this as a social event inviting their friends and business associates.   The groom’s family received roughly half of the list and they did the same.   Times have changed.   Our children are better educated, and many times have higher incomes than we.   Most often they can pay for their own weddings.   In a nutshell, parents are no longer financially responsible.   This also means that parents do not invite . Dear Polite One: My daughter is getting married, and my husband and I are paying for the reception . I have given her my guest list of immediate family and 4 couples that we are close to. Only 122 guests may be invited, including the wedding party. The groom’s parents send a list of 80 guests, most are not close to the couple. His mom seems to think that this is ok because they ...

Dear Polite One, My sister is getting married, and I am the Matron of Honor.  She and her boyfriend have been living together for about two years and have pretty much everything they really need.  I want to give her a shower or some sort of get-together, but I really don't know what.  My mother seems to think I should give her a Pantry Shower , but I disagree since she has everything for her kitchen already.  Please help me with this!! Sis Dear Sis, Many are now turning to the 'giftless' shower, where everyone gathers as if it is a traditional shower, but no gifts are exchanged.  The modern woman really doesn't need the extra help setting up her household, plus she will be receiving wedding gifts.  So, this is becoming quite a nice trend.  Instead of the bride being showered with gifts, she is showered with love and good wishes.  It is very sweet. Most sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Money-Saving Wedding & R...

Tales of Our Wedding Our wedding was a casual affair focusing on sharing time with those near and dear to us. We didn't want to spend a great deal or to begin our marriage in debt. So, we hosted ours at our local Veteran's Memorial Center beginning in the afternoon. Saving money on the venue is imperative, as it can be quite costly. With this choice we saved thousands. Of course, hosting our reception in the afternoon also lowers the total cost by allowing us to serve lunch instead of dinner. A lovely, tree-lined courtyard in the center of the property was the perfect setting for the ceremony which was followed by the reception in a large room steps away. The room was lit with natural light from large windows on both sides of the room. The major plus was the kitchen access. For the meal, we chose one of our favorite Italian restaurants as the caterer. It is amazing how inexpensive it was.  Everyone raved about the food. I took classes so I could make our cake . It was beau...

  Wedding favors do not need to be expensive to be cherished by your wedding guests.  Consider these following ideas Thrift or a Hobby Shop: Bargains for the Crafty Ebay, Facebook Marketplace, and Nextdoor Take-Home Boxes of Your Dessert Plant Seeds Tree Saplings Bird Seed Tap Friends for Ideas Ehow offers wonderful ideas to make your own! Please leave your wedding favor ideas in the comment section to share with others! More by The Polite One Money-Saving Officiate Tips Money-Saving Cake Alternatives Money-Saving Bridal Attire Tips 

Consider These Ideas Consider a used or rented wedding gown. Please avoid cringing. The dress is only worn once and then placed in a box, which will probably never be opened again. So, picture yourself in an expensive designer gown you didn't think you could ever afford. And the best part is that it is a fraction of the price of one that is new. Plus, you would be "doing the right thing" by being less wasteful. That is a great way to begin this next stage of your life. Used Gowns Preowned Wedding Dresses Used Wedding Dresses Rental Gowns Rent The Runway Search online. More options appear often. Be kind and use rental dresses for your maids as well Please leave your ideas in the comment section to share with others! More by The Polite One Money-Saving Wedding & Reception Tips Money-Saving Officiate Tips Money-Saving Cake Alternatives 

  Consider These Ideas Yes, I also made my daughter’s wedding cake. Darn those cake decorating classes. Just kidding. I was thrilled to do this for my daughter and fiancé’. It also saved them hundreds. Cupcakes—not as wasteful Faux cake for appearance; serve a delicious sheet cake that guests don't see Selections of deserts.  Pie is popular Cookies Parfaits or ice cream Tap Friends for Ideas Great ideas from Style Me Pretty Visitor Suggestions Buy one small decorative cake to show and serve a different Costco style cake to eat. Please leave your ideas in the comment section to share with others! More by The Polite One Money-Saving Wedding & Reception Tips Wedding Gift Ideas That Won’t Break the Budget Money-Saving Officiate Tips 

  Consider These Ideas My daughter asked me to be her officiate for which I was very honored. So, I quickly became ordained and performed the ceremony . Not only was this a memorable event for all of us, but it also saved her money. Years later, I officiated my sister’s wedding.  It was a day of pure joy. Becoming ordained is a simple matter these days but is only one option. A friend or family member can also become an officiate for a day in many places, just check in with your county officials. It is usually as easy as signing a piece of paper and handing over a few dollars. Leave your ideas in the comment section to share with others! More by The Polite One Wedding Gift Ideas That Won’t Break the Budget Are Charitable Donations an Acceptable Wedding Token? Money-Saving Wedding & Reception Tips 

  Consider These Ideas Venue Host your wedding and reception at the same venue. Choose a wedding date in a less popular month or on a Sunday. Food Buffets served as food stations are usually less expensive than a sit-down meal and can be very special. A cake and beverage reception is perfect for an event early in the day. Beverages Limit alcohol to beer and wine . Purchase your alcohol in bulk from a discount store. The shorter your event is, the less you will need. Entertainment & Archivists Hire photographer/videographer for the wedding only and ask friends to fill in the gap. Contact the music department of the local high school or college about musicians. Tap Friends for Ideas Visitor Suggestions Buy one small decorative cake to show and serve a different Costco-style cake to eat. Ask a friend to become ordained to marry you.  It's cheaper than paying for one. Please leave your ideas in the comment section to share with others...

  Dear Polite One, Our wedding is at 4pm with an evening reception after 6pm. Both events will be very formal .  Since the times require different attire, we are confused about appropriate attire for the men. I was considering tuxedos during the daytime since the reception is in the evening.  But the reception is very formal so I'm considering white tie and tailcoats. Is this appropriate? Formally confused Dear Formally Confused, Unfortunately, tuxes are formal evening attire, not to be worn during the day, even if many do it anyway. If you wish to follow the traditional road, the men should wear cutaway coats, gray striped trousers, and waistcoats for the daytime wedding and full-dress tailcoats with matching trousers, white waistcoats, and bow ties for the evening. However, because the wedding is during the day, they can wear the cutaways for the entire event. The one issue here that I find problematic though is that there is a sizable gap between the w...