Got Wedding Etiquette?

Dear Polite One, I have been invited to an evening engagement cocktail party that will be held in a person's Seattle home.  What should I wear, and do I take a gift? Thank you, Curious in Seattle Dear Curious in Seattle, Traditions quickly crumble these days, but originally, this was a surprise party for guests to inform them of the couple's engagement. Because of this, only those close to the couple gave gifts and never at the party.  These were considered the bride's gifts but were not to be used until after the wedding.  That said, for many rules such as this don't apply much anymore, making it difficult for all of us.  So, if you want to take a gift, you may.  If you are close family, you might want to ask other family members what they are doing.  Bottom line though, you are not obligated to give one.  As for your attire, wear what you would to any cocktail party, as these are considered dressy affairs—a dressy pants suit, coc...

  Dear Polite One, What type of gift do I give to my friend for her engagement cocktail party? Curious Dear Curious, This is not considered a gift-giving event. Usually, only those who are very close or family typically give for which there is no specific gift . Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Do hosts give a shower gift? When to host the bridal shower? MOG’s friends hosting the bridal shower.  How to list this on the invitation?

  Dear Polite One, What would be appropriate attire for a Napa Valley engagement cocktail party in a vineyard?  Also, am I expected to give a gift ? Thank you, Curious Dear Curious, Napa tends to be classy casual, which basically means high-quality casual clothing .  Since this is a cocktail party that is also an engagement party, I suggest kicking it up a notch with the little black dress/cocktail attire.  In the past, an engagement party was a surprise party for guests to inform them of the couple's engagement.  Because of this, even today, only very close family are expected to give gifts.  They shouldn't bring them to the party. Gifts are supposed to be shipped to the bride, as they are considered hers.  The unfortunate gray area here is that many do not know what is considered proper.  So, some may bring gifts, but you shouldn't feel embarrassed if you don't.  Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One Th...

Dear Polite One, I would like to host an engagement party for my brother and his future wife.  This is a second wedding for both.  Is this good manners ? Wants to do the right thing. Dear Wants to Do the Right Thing, Even for the tenth wedding, it would be fine. Just create an atmosphere of joy and ensure guests realize this isn't a gift-giving event. And please, only invite those who are also invited to the wedding. Sincerely, The Polite One More from The Polite One May we combine the bachelorette and bridal shower? Invite non-wedding guests to a Summer Supper? Excluded from the Engagement Party

Hi Polite One, I am so hurt as I wasn't invited to my grandchild's engagement party.  Other family members were there, but not many.  Gran Dear Gran, The etiquette for an engagement party isn’t as clear as it is for many other pre-wedding events.  There are no rules about who is invited. Close family members, such as grandparents, would be invited to a family affair.  However, hosts take liberties of who they wish to host.  This could have been a mistake as well. So, this may not be a slight.  Most sincerely, The Polite One More from The Polite One Who hosts the bridal shower? What type of shower to host for those who have everything? Is non-attending bridesmaid financially responsible for the bridal shower?

In wedding planning, there are a myriad of questions.  Some are easy to answer, some are intuitive and some...well, it’s best to call upon an expert.  I am here to answer these three unique questions and offer some sage advice. Deliver a Speech to Remember There are books with plenty of ideas on perfect speeches and  are worth a read. Anyone who speaks should keep it short and sweet.   Focus on your relationship with the couple and their love story.   This is not a time to play the comedian.   Best Man and Maid of Honor The speech should be short and sweet. It should reflect on your relationship and the couple.   Don't mention the bachelor, bachelorette, or any other potentially embarrassing events or moments.   Parents Avoid embarrassing your child. The speech should be short and reflective of your love and theirs.   Try to incorporate your support of the marriage. Must I accept the other woman’s ring? Dear Polite O...

Advice for Those Who Have Walked the Aisle Before  Ready to say, "I do" again?   Learn the answers to the most often asked encore wedding planning questions from an internationally recognized etiquette consultant.   Out with the old and in with the new seems to apply to marriages these days, as most weddings are encore events for one or both members of the bridal couple.   Thus, many of the old rules that once applied to second weddings have been tossed aside like old and faded bridal bouquets.   Nevertheless, there are considerations since marriages bring more than just two people together.   Also created and blended is family, especially in the case of children.   For these considerations and more, please read what this etiquette consultant has to say.    What's the first wedding planning step for encore couples? If children are in the mix, it's best to notify exes.   Also, notify any family members from your ex's side that ...

Requests for expert input are common for etiquette professionals.   What follows is an interview that, unfortunately, never resulted in publication.   The journalist asked interesting questions.   I was pleased to use some of what I learned in my many Psychology classes.   Please read on. Q: What are some of the psychological, social, and practical issues of remarriage, including the best approach in telling your former spouse's family and your own of your plans. A: In the past, many felt that a failed marriage was a negative and a personal failure—somewhat akin to a character flaw.  This was especially true when it came to an encore wedding.   Today, there’s no stigma.  Most do not judge a person who is remarrying.   But there are considerations to the encore wedding that we don’t typically have for the first wedding.  If there are children from a former marriage, they should be informed privately before any others.  If close...