Because bridal showers are still considered
gift-giving events, the planning must be done carefully. If not, the
party might be viewed poorly. It is logical
though. After all, the couple may receive engagement party gifts,
shower gifts, and wedding gifts. These gifts are all for one couple,
for one reason: they are uniting in marriage. It can be overwhelming
for guests. Here are three guests with common questions.
Is it
proper manners to have multiple showers?
Dear Polite One,
I recently attended
a housewarming shower combo party for friends
who bought a home. Now, they are planning an exceedingly small wedding, for
which I'm not invited, but expected to help host several showers. I
feel used. Am I expected to also give a gift at all these
showers?
Dazed & Confused
Dear Dazed &
Confused,
You are correct to feel
used, as this is excessive and greedy behavior. First off, the
housewarming is not a shower. The homeowner hosts this and provides
the party and gifts are optional. Secondly, this couple should never
request a shower and should only accept two, for which family shouldn't be
involved in hosting. It often becomes a greedy feeding
frenzy. Thirdly, only those invited to the wedding may be invited to
a shower—only one shower.
Feel free to skip
this. If possible, it would be beneficial to inform them that you've
read that this is not polite behavior and want to spare them
embarrassment.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
What
is the most proper bridal shower gift?
Dear Polite One,
I am invited to my first
bridal shower. I’ve just met the couple, so I don’t know much about
them. What is an appropriate bridal shower gift?
Clueless
Dear Clueless,
Although many are opting
for the gift-less shower, if this isn't, give her something from her
registry—not cash. This should be something less expensive than a
wedding gift.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
Dear Polite One,
My friend is demanding
cash gifts for her bridal shower. I'm a full-time student and have very
little discretionary cash. What should I do? I hate to hurt her
feelings but feel that others might feel this is wrong.
Cash Poor
Dear Cash Poor,
Even though cash is the
typical wedding gift for many cultures, it is not a proper bridal shower
gift. Opening and sharing gifts with guests is an indispensable part
of the gift-giving shower. Therefore, it is logical that cash and
gift cards would not be appropriate. After all, there is no polite
manner of opening an envelope to reveal the cash
amount. Additionally, shower gifts are supposed to be inexpensive
household items.
Please speak with your friend
privately and share what you’ve learned.
If she continues with her plans, feel free to skip the party.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
Please
Read
Rules: thank you
notes, sympathy letters, wedding enclosures...
Wedding
Complications Q & A: Ignoring Groom's Parents
4 of the Most
Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered
Comments
Post a Comment