May we combine the bachelorette and bridal shower?

Dear Polite One:

Would it be appropriate for us to host the bridal shower and bachelorette party on the same day? Should we charge the attendees to ride in the limo?

Thank you,

MOH

Dear MOH,

Although not incorrect to host both on the same day, combining them is awkward and not fair for the guests. The shower is a gift-giving event (if not gift-less), so these guests don't pay for anything besides the gifts.

Alternately, the bachelorette party is not a gift-giving event for which the guests treat the bride. Thus, guests must know all costs upfront. When a limo is involved, guests may opt to share the cost, but should not be coerced into paying. So, as you see, combining these two events would be difficult. All shower guests would also have to be bachelorette guests.

The bride should never be involved in the planning of either party and may not ask for it—it’s not polite. These are parties that are hosted by those who wish to do so—they are optional parties.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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