Appropriate Wedding Gift Cash Amount Conflict

Dear Polite One,

My husband and I have two different opinions on the amount of money to give to a bridal couple. I believe that it depends on the relationship. He said that we should give the bride and groom a monetary gift based on where the reception is being held...the better the place the better the gift. I explained that the gift is for the bride and groom not to the reception venue! Who is correct?

Wife

Dear Wife,

Money is probably the worst gift but expected in some regions. I don't care for it, but that is just a Californian for you.

The gift is for the wedding, not the reception, and is given to the couple. The gift should be sent before the wedding to their home. This is another reason why I believe money at the reception is very odd. Still, many people continue to do this.

Giving based on the cost of the reception, or the cost of the dinner is not necessary or logical. Gracious hosts, host graciously and do not expect to be compensated for hosting. So, you are correct. Gifts are given based on your relationship with them and your budget.

Tell you husband to recite after me: “My wife is always right. My wife is always right.” (huge smiley face)

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

Does a wedding announcement prompt a gift?

What do I give for an engagement gift?

When to open shipped gifts?

Comments

4 of the Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered

After decades of answering etiquette questions, especially about weddings, I’d like to share a few of those questions that represent the majority of concerns. Q: Is an invited coworker obligated to spend a certain amount? I'm going to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Should I buy both gifts off the registry? A: Unfortunately, yes. This is one of the biggest reasons I feel that the gift-less wedding shower is the smartest route for us to follow today. Why should the couple receive more than one gift per guest? It just doesn't make any sense and isn't fair to guests. Q : Registries feel so impersonal. Is there any way to make it more personal? A: I honestly can't think of any way to make a registry more personal. If a couple decides to register, they should choose items from the low end of the price range as well as the bigger ticket items, so the list doesn't appear to be a greed-fest. Unfortunately, it can have th...

When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents Dear Polite One, On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents? Me First Dear Me First , We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past. In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend. So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order: Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row). If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order. The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats. Sincerely, The Polite One Seating Chart Dilemma Dear Polite One, I'm working ...

Wedding Etiquette 101: Wedding Gift Etiquette Advice for Guests

Gift Registries, Cash Gifts, Group Gifts… Oh My! As an etiquette expert, I answer etiquette questions every day. Many of those concern wedding etiquette, especially when it involves giving gifts. This isn’t much of a surprise when the latest data provided by Forbes shows that the typical wedding guest spends approximately $673 just for the honor of attending. Of course, this data includes an expensive mix of lodging and childcare. However, attending the shower, bachelor, and bachelorette parties contributes much of this sum as well. Follow along as I share my answers to actual wedding gift etiquette questions. Q : Must I buy the gift from the registry? The couple registered at a higher-end department store with items such as a $300 espresso machine. I know the bride loves her mochas, but that’s a bit pricy for me. If I find the same machine at a discount store, can I purchase it there? A : There is nothing...

Got Wedding Etiquette?

Search This Blog