Gift for out of state shower?

Dear Polite One,

I mostly work from home, thus don't know those in our office; most I've met only once. One of these strangers invited me to her out-of-state shower and wedding.

Since I don't know her or her fiancé, and these are in a different state, I feel that I've been invited just for gifts. I'm sure they realize I wouldn't and couldn't attend. How much am I obligated to give?

Insulted

Dear Insulted,

It does appear that she is gift-mining. Don't fall for it unless you really want to give. Keep in mind, cash is not a good shower gift. Since you are not attending, no gifts are required anyway. If you wanted to give cash, there is no appropriate amount to spend. This is a personal decision.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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