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Wedding Etiquette for Parents

parenting;child;angry child

The Good Wedding Guest

Since I’ve answered etiquette questions for decades, and because etiquette rules change as our lives become more and more complicated, I read extensively.  Visitors deserve more than the 'old fogey' that still thinks encore brides cannot wear white. 

Yet I do not know when, but do know why, more and more bridal couples are providing a room for the children of guests to be entertained during a wedding reception.  Just providing a babysitter is not enough in most cases, as children become bored, leave the room, and run around.  Not all guests appreciate being knocked over by a running nine-year-old. 

So, when did it happen?  When did parents decide that they are not responsible for their children's behavior? 

A little-known personal fact, I am a credentialed teacher.  Because of this, I look for every teachable moment and know that there are plenty when an adult is with a child.  Surprisingly, many parents do not realize that an event such as a wedding and reception is a Teachable Moment. 

This is an opportunity to teach children to respect others by instructing them to sit quietly during the ceremony, to use proper table manners, to stay in their seats and use indoor voices during the reception.  The beauty of the reception is that we, as parents, can also teach our children the art of introduction, conversation, and mingling. This type of event is a priceless teaching tool. 

Yet, many parents focus on the fun of the wedding reception and tend to feel that it is their child's right to use the venue as a playground.  They forget that they are also 'the teacher,' so I advise brides to plan entertainment for the child guest.  It saddens me to do so, but a stress-free wedding is what the bride wants and needs, not a platform for teaching children. 

That is my wish though, that parents use every occasion as a teachable moment for their children.  Please be the parent your child needs and deserves. Our next-generation depends on it.

Your thoughts?

More by The Polite One

What are MOG’s responsibilities?

May I invite guests only to the wedding?

Which is the bride’s side of the church?


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