When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents

Dear Polite One,

On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents?

Me First

Dear Me First,

We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past. In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend. So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order: Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row).

If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order. The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Seating Chart Dilemma

Dear Polite One,

I'm working on my seating chart right now and I'm having trouble figuring out who sits with whom at the reception? What happens if there are factions of the family that don't like each other? How do I decide where to sit people so there aren't fireworks? Divorced parents, new spouses, etc.

Fearing Fireworks

Dear Fearing Fireworks,

It is refreshing to hear from someone who wants to create a welcoming atmosphere. When we invite guests, we are a host and we should want our guests to be comfortable. It is best to seat our guests with those with whom they are comfortable.

To this end, all parents don’t need to sit together and could be seated with friends or other family members with whom they are close. The same is true with all your guests.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Where to Sit?

Dear Polite One,

My husband and I are attending a wedding in which we are very close with the bride and groom. Does it matter whose side we sit on?

Loves Both

Dear Loves Both,

It really doesn’t matter on which side you sit. Perhaps it might be best to sit on the side that has fewer guests seated.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Please Read

Wedding Complications Q & A: Ignoring Groom's Parent

Anti-Clueless Advice: How to Plan a Wedding That Doesn't Insult Guests

Wedding Correspondence Q & A: Including Registry Info?

Comments

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Dear Polite One, I've always dreamt that my wedding reception would be alcohol and dance-free - except for the first dance of the bride and groom. When running the idea past a few people they seemed shocked that I've taken out both of these elements and are making me doubt my idea . The wedding will be in the evening, and then dinner. Is there a steadfast rule that there must be alcohol and dance at a wedding? Isn't a nice dinner enough? And what things could be added to make it fun for the guests? Thank you, Visitor from Yorkton Saskatchewan Dear Yorkton Saskatchewan, People typically expect alcohol with their dinner at evening wedding receptions . So, it would probably be better if this were held earlier in the day. Dancing isn’t that important. However, it is better to skip all dances, rather than just the one dance with you. That may seem awkward. The only hard and fast rule is that we, as hosts, offer our guests wha...

Do I wear nylons with strappy sandals for a fall evening wedding?

Dear Polite One, From what I have read on your site, I should wear a cocktail (little black dress or equivalent) to a fall evening wedding at a golf country club. Do, I need to wear nylons with my strappy sandals? Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin Dear Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin, Bravo on doing your attire homework! You are absolutely correct about your attire choice. Nylons aren't nearly as popular or expected due to our love of sandals. Strappy sandals look splendid with nice dresses, even in the winter. FYI: It is a faux pas to wear nylons with open-toed shoes. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to dress for a wedding as "the second wife"? How to Dress for Formal Wedding in New York ? What to wear to a formal evening wedding in Napa?

Anti-Clueless Advice: What to Wear and What Gifts to Give

How to Decode the Dress Code and to Give the Right Gift Many questions I receive as an etiquette consultant are from wedding guests. Guests are especially concerned with what they should wear and what they should give as gifts . All who contact me are deeply worried about committing any type of faux pas, as many weddings tend to be surrounded by drama these days. For example, one guest shared that the bride called fuming that the gift she shipped to the bride's home was inadequate, so she returned it to the store for cash—true story. With crazy, hurtful behavior like that, it is no wonder wedding guests are apprehensive about wedding guest protocol. How do we know what to wear to a wedding? Wedding invitations are supposed to help guests understand the formality of a wedding. Often, this is not the case. Here is a real-life example: a guest received an invitation of heavy-weight paper indicating a formal wedding, but the location listed was a...

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