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Interview: Request cash? Thank-You Note Advice

 Requesting cash on wedding invitations, thank you note advice

Cash Gifts On Invitations?

Dear Polite One,

Is it socially acceptable to request money as a wedding gift right on the invitation?

Wishing

Dear Wishing,

No!  Never! In fact, gifts are never mentioned on invitations, even if we don’t want any.  Many couples may be confused about this rule since store personnel tends to provide enclosures specifically designed to list registry information.  These are a huge no-no and are created to benefit the store, which has no interest in how the information might be viewed by guests.  And requesting cash is any manner is viewed extremely negatively and as greedy. 

If we truly only prefer cash, we convey this message through word of mouth.  We could also list a wedding saving’s account and registries on our wedding website—never on the first page.  This information is never included with the invitation. 

Be prepared, though, to receive few gifts if requesting cash.  Many guests find this repulsive.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

When Is a Thank-You Note Late?

Dear Polite One,

What is the maximum length of time after a wedding before the thank-you note is considered “late”?

Late

Dear Late,

All thank-you notes should be handwritten as soon as the gift is received, even if it is before the wedding.  There is no grace period. 

No gift should be used before the wedding. 

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Thank You Gift for Bridal Shower Host?

Dear Polite One,

Is it a must for the bride to buy a "thank you" gift for the person who gives her a shower?

Thank you!

Thankful

Dear Thankful,

Typically, yes.  Usually, this is flowers or something similar.  For me, it would be a bottle of wine.  When choosing a gift, consider the preferences of the receiver.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Attended but No Gift

Dear Polite One,

If someone comes to your wedding, but does not bring a gift, should you still send them a thank you card? 

Grrr...

Dear Grrr...

You are only obligated to handwrite thank you notes for those who give you gifts.  Please send these as soon as you receive your gifts—snail mail, not email.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Belated Thank You Notes

Dear Polite One,

I was married a month ago and have not had a chance to send Thank You notes. How late is too late to send them? 

Belated

Dear Belated,

Even though it is best to send our thank you notes as soon as the gifts arrive, there is no date that is too late—time to get busy.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Please Read

Do I give a gift or what?

Rules: thank you notes, sympathy letters, wedding enclosures...

Wedding Correspondence Q & A: Including Registry Info?


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