Skip to main content

Interview: Request cash? Thank-You Note Advice

 Requesting cash on wedding invitations, thank you note advice

Cash Gifts On Invitations?

Dear Polite One,

Is it socially acceptable to request money as a wedding gift right on the invitation?

Wishing

Dear Wishing,

No!  Never! In fact, gifts are never mentioned on invitations, even if we don’t want any.  Many couples may be confused about this rule since store personnel tends to provide enclosures specifically designed to list registry information.  These are a huge no-no and are created to benefit the store, which has no interest in how the information might be viewed by guests.  And requesting cash is any manner is viewed extremely negatively and as greedy. 

If we truly only prefer cash, we convey this message through word of mouth.  We could also list a wedding saving’s account and registries on our wedding website—never on the first page.  This information is never included with the invitation. 

Be prepared, though, to receive few gifts if requesting cash.  Many guests find this repulsive.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

When Is a Thank-You Note Late?

Dear Polite One,

What is the maximum length of time after a wedding before the thank-you note is considered “late”?

Late

Dear Late,

All thank-you notes should be handwritten as soon as the gift is received, even if it is before the wedding.  There is no grace period. 

No gift should be used before the wedding. 

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Thank You Gift for Bridal Shower Host?

Dear Polite One,

Is it a must for the bride to buy a "thank you" gift for the person who gives her a shower?

Thank you!

Thankful

Dear Thankful,

Typically, yes.  Usually, this is flowers or something similar.  For me, it would be a bottle of wine.  When choosing a gift, consider the preferences of the receiver.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Attended but No Gift

Dear Polite One,

If someone comes to your wedding, but does not bring a gift, should you still send them a thank you card? 

Grrr...

Dear Grrr...

You are only obligated to handwrite thank you notes for those who give you gifts.  Please send these as soon as you receive your gifts—snail mail, not email.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Belated Thank You Notes

Dear Polite One,

I was married a month ago and have not had a chance to send Thank You notes. How late is too late to send them? 

Belated

Dear Belated,

Even though it is best to send our thank you notes as soon as the gifts arrive, there is no date that is too late—time to get busy.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Please Read

Do I give a gift or what?

Rules: thank you notes, sympathy letters, wedding enclosures...

Wedding Correspondence Q & A: Including Registry Info?


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bride Doesn’t Wants Alcohol or Dances at Reception

Dear Polite One, I've always dreamt that my wedding reception would be alcohol and dance-free - except for the first dance of the bride and groom.  When running the idea past a few people they seemed shocked that I've taken out both of these elements and are making me doubt my idea . The wedding will be in the evening, and then dinner. Is there a steadfast rule that there must be alcohol and dance at a wedding?  Isn't a nice dinner enough? And what things could be added to make it fun for the guests? Thank you, Visitor from Yorkton Saskatchewan Dear Yorkton Saskatchewan, People typically expect alcohol with their dinner at evening wedding receptions .  So, it would probably be better if this were held earlier in the day.  Dancing isn’t that important.  However, it is better to skip all dances, rather than just the one dance with you.  That may seem awkward.  The only hard and fast rule is that we, as hosts, offer our guests wha...
Post a Comment
Read more

Do I wear nylons with strappy sandals for a fall evening wedding?

  Dear Polite One, From what I have read on your site, I should wear a cocktail (little black dress or equivalent) to a fall evening wedding at a golf country club.  Do, I need to wear nylons with my strappy sandals? Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin Dear Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin, Bravo on doing your attire homework!  You are absolutely correct about your attire choice.  Nylons aren't nearly as popular or expected due to our love of sandals. Strappy sandals look splendid with nice dresses, even in the winter.  FYI: It is a faux pas to wear nylons with open-toed shoes. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to dress for a wedding as "the second wife"? How to Dress for Formal Wedding in New York ? What to wear to a formal evening wedding in Napa?
Post a Comment
Read more

Anti-Clueless Advice: What to Wear and What Gifts to Give

How to Decode the Dress Code and to Give the Right Gift Many questions I receive as an etiquette consultant are from wedding guests. Guests are especially concerned with what they should wear and what they should give as gifts .   All who contact me are deeply worried about committing any type of faux pas, as many weddings tend to be surrounded by drama these days. For example, one guest shared that the bride called fuming that the gift she shipped to the bride's home was inadequate, so she returned it to the store for cash—true story.     With crazy, hurtful behavior like that, it is no wonder wedding guests are apprehensive about wedding guest protocol. How do we know what to wear to a wedding? Wedding invitations are supposed to help guests understand the formality of a wedding.   Often, this is not the case.   Here is a real-life example: a guest received an invitation of heavy-weight paper indicating a formal wedding, but the location listed was a...
Post a Comment
Read more