Before
deciding on a destination wedding, consider that many may not be able to travel
due to finances or health issues. Because
of this, some beloved family members may feel excluded and a bit miffed that
the couple would even consider marrying in an exotic location far from home. So, it is best to consider all involved, look
for group rates and suggest hotels for a wide range of budgets. Recognize
that this may be a much smaller event.
Be
honest and keep open communication between you and your family during the planning
process to avoid hurt feelings.
Please
try to consider others' positions and don't take it personally when they
decline the invitation.
Notify guests of welcome party?
Dear
Polite One,
We
are planning a destination wedding, the save-the-date cards are mailed, and the
invitations will be mailed two months before the wedding. I am
planning a welcome party for my guests on the beach the evening before the
wedding, but don't know how I inform guests. Does something need to be included
in the invitation enclosure, or something separate? Do I wait and notify those
who accept the invitation?
Regards,
Bride
Dear
Bride,
This
information could be included as an enclosure with your
invitations. This is a very considerate gesture on your
part. None of the brides who have contacted me needing information
about destination weddings have considered a party for their guests who must
travel.
Bravo!
Sincerely,
The
Polite One
What are my financial responsibilities?
Dear
Polite One,
I
am planning a destination wedding in Cabo for next summer. We are
having about 100 guests with 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen. I am extremely
confused about what we are responsible to pay for. My thought is to cover
travel/hotel for the maid of honor and best man. I would also like to purchase
the bridesmaid's and groomsmen's wedding attire.
However,
I'm leaning towards asking the bridal party to pay for their own travel/hotel.
Is this acceptable? Also, I have been told we should pay for immediate family
member travel/hotel costs. Is this correct as well?
We
want to have a nice wedding; however, as the travel costs of others continue
to rise, the less we can spend on making this a nice ceremony/reception. Any
advice you have would be greatly appreciated.
Off
to Cabo
Dear
Off to Cabo,
Those
telling you that you are responsible for guest’s costs haven’t read their
etiquette books. However, you are responsible for at least two days of lodging
expenses of all your attendants. You are not responsible for their attire
or travel costs.
If
this is an all-inclusive resort, you may have day-pass costs for those
attending your wedding and not staying at the resort. This could be $50+ per guest. So, please do your homework in this
department.
Announcing my wedding to those not invited?
Dear
Polite One,
I'm
having a destination wedding. I want people to know that I'm getting married,
but I can't invite them to the wedding. Should I send them a wedding
announcement?
Itching
for Others to Know
Dear
Itching for Others to Know,
Informing
people about a wedding for which they are not invited is as if you are saying,
“Na-na-na-na-na-na, you are not good enough to be invited to my
wedding.” Not nice. Plus, it could appear as if you are
announcing, which is done after the wedding, as a ploy to garner extra
gifts. So, just inform people as you see
them that you are marrying soon but can’t invite guests. Send or do nothing formal.
Please
Read
Anti-Clueless
Advice: How to Plan a Wedding That Doesn't Insult Guests
Rules: thank you
notes, sympathy letters, wedding enclosures...
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