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3 Common Destination Wedding Questions

 Destination wedding etiquette, financial responsibilities, announcements

Before deciding on a destination wedding, consider that many may not be able to travel due to finances or health issues.  Because of this, some beloved family members may feel excluded and a bit miffed that the couple would even consider marrying in an exotic location far from home.  So, it is best to consider all involved, look for group rates and suggest hotels for a wide range of budgets.   Recognize that this may be a much smaller event.

Be honest and keep open communication between you and your family during the planning process to avoid hurt feelings.  

Please try to consider others' positions and don't take it personally when they decline the invitation.

Notify guests of welcome party?

Dear Polite One, 

We are planning a destination wedding, the save-the-date cards are mailed, and the invitations will be mailed two months before the wedding.  I am planning a welcome party for my guests on the beach the evening before the wedding, but don't know how I inform guests. Does something need to be included in the invitation enclosure, or something separate? Do I wait and notify those who accept the invitation?   

Regards, 

Bride

Dear Bride, 

This information could be included as an enclosure with your invitations.  This is a very considerate gesture on your part.  None of the brides who have contacted me needing information about destination weddings have considered a party for their guests who must travel.   

Bravo! 

Sincerely, 

The Polite One

What are my financial responsibilities?

Dear Polite One,

I am planning a destination wedding in Cabo for next summer. We are having about 100 guests with 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen. I am extremely confused about what we are responsible to pay for. My thought is to cover travel/hotel for the maid of honor and best man. I would also like to purchase the bridesmaid's and groomsmen's wedding attire.

However, I'm leaning towards asking the bridal party to pay for their own travel/hotel. Is this acceptable? Also, I have been told we should pay for immediate family member travel/hotel costs. Is this correct as well?

We want to have a nice wedding; however, as the travel costs of others continue to rise, the less we can spend on making this a nice ceremony/reception. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

Off to Cabo

Dear Off to Cabo,

Those telling you that you are responsible for guest’s costs haven’t read their etiquette books.  However, you are responsible for at least two days of lodging expenses of all your attendants.  You are not responsible for their attire or travel costs. 

If this is an all-inclusive resort, you may have day-pass costs for those attending your wedding and not staying at the resort.  This could be $50+ per guest.  So, please do your homework in this department.

Announcing my wedding to those not invited?

Dear Polite One,

I'm having a destination wedding. I want people to know that I'm getting married, but I can't invite them to the wedding.  Should I send them a wedding announcement?   

Itching for Others to Know

Dear Itching for Others to Know,

Informing people about a wedding for which they are not invited is as if you are saying, “Na-na-na-na-na-na, you are not good enough to be invited to my wedding.”  Not nice.  Plus, it could appear as if you are announcing, which is done after the wedding, as a ploy to garner extra gifts.  So, just inform people as you see them that you are marrying soon but can’t invite guests.  Send or do nothing formal. 

Please Read

Anti-Clueless Advice: How to Plan a Wedding That Doesn't Insult Guests

Rules: thank you notes, sympathy letters, wedding enclosures...

Wedding Guest Attire Advice: Decoding the Dress Code 

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