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Wedding Etiquette 101: Honeymoon Registry

Honeymoon Registry

Are Honeymoon Registries Polite for Guests?

The typical U.S. bridal couple is either previously married, living on their own or have lived with each other for years.  Because they don't need many of the typical registry items, the honeymoon registry seems a natural alternative to the traditional registry and are somewhat popular these days. 

Even though this type of registry appears to be mainstream and common, is it proper to use?  How do guests view it? Tacky or useful?  Follow this etiquette expert for an answer. 

A trip through history for perspective

In my nearly twenty years of teaching wedding etiquette and the history of weddings, I have found very few who know why we give gifts.  Many couples believe that since they are marrying, they are owed gifts.  Not even remotely. Check out the evolution of wedding gifts.    

To help dowry-deficient young brides in their new role as wives, the ancient Greek gave wedding gifts.  These were not extravagant, but useful items like bowls and jugs.  Using the same reasoning, this trend continued through time with townspeople and families giving useful inexpensive household items to the young bride.

In the early 1900s, retailers jumped on the trend of soliciting brides directly with ads and with in-store bridal departments.  Welcome to the beginning of bridal-mania and the first registries.  Couples typically registered for tableware, such as china and utensils.  Still, guests were not expected to shell out a week’s wages per bridal couple.     



How’s that perspective working for you?

Today, as I mention above, many bridal couples view receiving wedding gifts as somewhat of a wedding mandate.  However, this is not so.  Considering what is most polite, only those who attend the wedding ceremony – not the reception – are required to give a gift.   

How do guests view honeymoon registries?

Since I answer etiquette questions every day, I hear guests’ honest opinions of the bridal couple’s registries. Most wedding guests chime in negatively about most registries but spew a true hatred for the honeymoon registry.  Of course, there are those who support each other with comments like, “Just do what you want to do and ignore those who tell you it’s not polite.”

Yet, consider that when you invite guests, it’s no longer “all about you and your day.”  When you invite, you are now a host.  Thus, guests’ needs and feelings are valid and essential. 

So, should I create a honeymoon registry or not?

While there is nothing ill-mannered about a honeymoon registry, I recommend not using one since there is a negative connotation associated with it.  Nevertheless, if this is something you want to do, it is best to create a traditional registry as well while following strict wedding-etiquette rules: Do not include registry information with your wedding invitation.  Additionally, do not include information about this registry with bridal shower invitations, as this is not a proper bridal shower gift. 

If you don’t need gifts, rejoice!  You are one of the lucky ones. Consider how fortunate you are.  Guests should not feel obligated to contribute toward your wedding, reception, or honeymoon. 

Enjoy the day, your guests, and each other.

More by Rebecca

How to Create an Electronic Free Zone for Your Wedding

Wedding Invitations: Email, Response Card, Guest Issues

How to Create a Wedding Website Your Guests Will Love to Visit

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