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Wedding Invitations: Email, Response Card, Guest Issues

 Wedding Invitation Q & A, Email, response card

The purpose of an invitation to a wedding is to invite, with the main objective of ensuring guests know the who, what, when, and where of the event.  Thus, it can be made by word of mouth, by phone, or by email.    

Although this invitation is much the same as any other invitation, it is more than just a simple invitation.  It is a visual statement before the guest even reads the words. Somewhat like a logo, conveying the formality and tone of your event through the formality of the paper, letter font, and style.  The more formal your wedding, the more formal the invitation. 

With that in mind, it wouldn’t be prudent to invite your guests via email, phone, or word of mouth to formal weddings. 

Note

If you choose to invite guests for informal weddings via email, it is best to list a land address for those uncomfortable with email. 

Q & A: Wedding Invitation Interview

Q: Rebecca, let’s touch on invitations first. Today, we do a lot of communicating electronically, is it acceptable to send invitations via email?

A: Email is a wonderful tool for instant simultaneous communication between multiple people.  And it can be used tastefully for an informal wedding.  Still, it isn’t appropriate for more formal events. 

Q: How soon before the wedding should the invitations be mailed?

A: We used to advise couples – and this should be a couple’s activity – to send invitations 6-8 weeks prior to their wedding.  However, we are so spread out today, with loved ones living in different states and countries.  So, the new standard is no less than 8 weeks.  For a destination wedding, send save the dates 12-6 months prior is best. 

Friend Added Her Own Guests

Dear Polite One,

My invitation was addressed to my friend and a guest.  The response card returned with 4 people, rather than just the two!   What's the best way to handle this?

Panicking

Dear Panicking,

Ouch!  Unfortunately, this is becoming more and more common because many do not know how to be good guests.  It is also unfortunate that the only way to deal with this is for someone close to you to contact them and verbally inform them that only those listed on the invitation are invited.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Guests Didn’t Confirm Attendance

Dear Polite One,

Even though a response card was supplied, invited guests did not respond to my formal wedding invitation.  Should we call them to find out if they will come? Or can we assume that they're not coming?

Fingers Crossed

Dear Fingers Crossed,

Never assume.  It seems that many guests simply do not know how to be good guests.  Unfortunately, you may have to ask someone close to call for you, as it is viewed as impolite for the couple to do so. 

Sincerely,

The Polite One 

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