Skip to main content

Are Charitable Donations an Acceptable Wedding Token?

Pink Ribbon for Breast Cancer Awareness

As an etiquette specialist, I have received many questions from various networks and organizations.  What follows is an example of one that was never printed.

Dear Polite One,

Say a couple feels strongly about a certain charity and wants to skip giving wedding favors to their guests and instead donate in their name.  Are there any charities that appear more appropriate or some that are not?  Additionally, do you know of anything else a couple might need to know about this topic?

Thank you,

Needs Copy

Dear Needs Copy,

Essentially, wedding favors are a gift to guests. It’s a token of the couple’s appreciation.  In the past, most etiquette professionals would advise—and some may still—that it is impolite to give that gift to another.  However, with so many in need, it is becoming more acceptable to give, rather than receive a small token, which most favors are. 

With that said, the couple should mention this decision on their wedding website and in the programs, as some guests may never visit their site.  It would be most polite—if possible—to discuss this verbally with guests as well.

The bridal couple should expect that some guests may have an issue with this decision.  However, if the couple openly discusses their decision with guests, there should be minimal repercussion. 

In our present times, many in the U.S. are divided by politics.  Consequently, it is best to choose a charity that does the most good at the least cost and could not be considered a political cause.   A neutral charity that gives most of the donations to a good cause, like one that saves animals or children.   

Finally, always consider guests comfort and the fact that they are spending their money and time to attend your wedding when planning and executing your memorable event.

More by The Polite One

How Much to Tip and to What Vendor?

Ant-Clue 3 Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions

How Create Wedding Website Guests Will Love

Photo Credit

MesserWoland, CC BY-SA 3.0 <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/>, via Wikimedia Commons

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Bride Doesn’t Wants Alcohol or Dances at Reception

Dear Polite One, I've always dreamt that my wedding reception would be alcohol and dance-free - except for the first dance of the bride and groom.  When running the idea past a few people they seemed shocked that I've taken out both of these elements and are making me doubt my idea . The wedding will be in the evening, and then dinner. Is there a steadfast rule that there must be alcohol and dance at a wedding?  Isn't a nice dinner enough? And what things could be added to make it fun for the guests? Thank you, Visitor from Yorkton Saskatchewan Dear Yorkton Saskatchewan, People typically expect alcohol with their dinner at evening wedding receptions .  So, it would probably be better if this were held earlier in the day.  Dancing isn’t that important.  However, it is better to skip all dances, rather than just the one dance with you.  That may seem awkward.  The only hard and fast rule is that we, as hosts, offer our guests what is typically expected at

Anti-Clueless Advice: What to Wear and What Gifts to Give

How to Decode the Dress Code and to Give the Right Gift Many questions I receive as an etiquette consultant are from wedding guests. Guests are especially concerned with what they should wear and what they should give as gifts .   All who contact me are deeply worried about committing any type of faux pas, as many weddings tend to be surrounded by drama these days. For example, one guest shared that the bride called fuming that the gift she shipped to the bride's home was inadequate, so she returned it to the store for cash—true story.     With crazy, hurtful behavior like that, it is no wonder wedding guests are apprehensive about wedding guest protocol. How do we know what to wear to a wedding? Wedding invitations are supposed to help guests understand the formality of a wedding.   Often, this is not the case.   Here is a real-life example: a guest received an invitation of heavy-weight paper indicating a formal wedding, but the location listed was a neighborhood park.

Should the Wedding Gift Cover the Cost of the Plate?

Hi Polite One, I need help. My step-cousin recently married. She is close with my parents, but not so much with me. Not because of anything bad, we just sort of lost touch, we just never see each other. In fact, I only see her once a year at Christmas. She comes from a wealthy family and her wedding was extremely lavish. I'm guessing minimum $300-$500 per plate. I was invited to the wedding with a guest and was concerned because I barely had the money to attend the wedding ( dress , shoes, etc.), let alone give a gift. My family is all about monetary gifts (always cash or check). My parents were insisting that I needed to cover the cost of my plate which was more than 2 weeks of my pay. I wanted to decline because I couldn't afford to go and was embarrassed. My parents insisted that it was family and that was not an option. I was told to do whatever I needed to do to get a dress, shoes, and cash gift to cover my plate. Because of the pressure, I responded that I would