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Are Charitable Donations an Acceptable Wedding Token?

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As an etiquette specialist, I have received many questions from various networks and organizations.  What follows is an example of one that was never printed.

Dear Polite One,

Say a couple feels strongly about a certain charity and wants to skip giving wedding favors to their guests and instead donate in their name.  Are there any charities that appear more appropriate or some that are not?  Additionally, do you know of anything else a couple might need to know about this topic?

Thank you,

Needs Copy

Dear Needs Copy,

Essentially, wedding favors are a gift to guests. It’s a token of the couple’s appreciation.  In the past, most etiquette professionals would advise—and some may still—that it is impolite to give that gift to another.  However, with so many in need, it is becoming more acceptable to give, rather than receive a small token, which most favors are. 

With that said, the couple should mention this decision on their wedding website and in the programs, as some guests may never visit their site.  It would be most polite—if possible—to discuss this verbally with guests as well.

The bridal couple should expect that some guests may have an issue with this decision.  However, if the couple openly discusses their decision with guests, there should be minimal repercussion. 

In our present times, many in the U.S. are divided by politics.  Consequently, it is best to choose a charity that does the most good at the least cost and could not be considered a political cause.   A neutral charity that gives most of the donations to a good cause, like one that saves animals or children.   

Finally, always consider guests comfort and the fact that they are spending their money and time to attend your wedding when planning and executing your memorable event.

More by The Polite One

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Photo Credit

MesserWoland, CC BY-SA 3.0 <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/>, via Wikimedia Commons

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