How to determine wedding formality?

Dear Polite One,

What aspects of a wedding determine the level of formality? What is the differences between "formal" and "semi-formal"?

Formally confused

Dear Formally Confused,

There are even levels of formal and semi-formal that are derived from time of day. Evening weddings tend to be more formal. Religion plays a part also. Catholic and Jewish weddings tend to be very formal. Although, civil ceremonies could be casual to very formal.

Formality is first set through the invitation. This is how we convey the formality of the event to our guests. For the bride, however, formality is usually decided upon by the dress. If she wants a long beaded embroidered formal gown with veil and cathedral train, she wants a formal wedding. So, all elements would follow the type of dress she chooses. Formality is also set with the wedding site. If the site is formal, the wedding should be also.

So, basically, it is set by the gown, the time of day, and the location. Your guests would only guess the formality by the invitation, time of day, and location.

For a daytime formal wedding, grooms would wear cutaway coats, with gray striped slacks and waistcoats. For evenings they could wear full-dress tailcoats with matching slacks and white waistcoats. The bride's attire would be as I mentioned above.

Semi-formal is difficult to define. For day and evening weddings, the bride could wear a long dress with a less formal veil and train (for the day, she could choose a shorter dress and no train).

Grooms could wear strollers, the same slacks as for the formal wedding, and waistcoats for the day, and tuxedos for the evening. However, if the bride is wearing a less formal street-length dress, the men might be dressed in suits.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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