In-laws Want to Taste and Choose the Cake

Hi Polite One,

I'm a traditional mother of the bride and expect to pay for my daughter's wedding, as I hoped that she and I would plan it together. The groom and his family see it differently.

They don't have a problem with me paying but want to choose and taste the cake with us. They want to be in the mix throughout the entire planning process. Do they have that right?

Traditional Mom

Dear Traditional Mom,

Parents are no longer financially responsible for their children's wedding, so it is your choice if you want to contribute and how much. If you do contribute, however, it is considered a gift that doesn’t automatically give you planning rights. The couple should allow you to have a voice though, out of common courtesy.

The couple is responsible for choosing their cake and whether the groom and his family accompany them, is the couple's choice. Personally, I feel that since you chose to pay for most of this, there should be some thankfulness from the couple. Perhaps, they do not realize how generous you are being. Perhaps, they feel it is your responsibility to pay. This, I do not know. But I do know that you have some choices here.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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