Anti-Clueless Advice: How to Decode a Confusing Wedding Invitation

Surprisingly, the most asked question I receive as an etiquette consultant is: what do I wear to a wedding? In theory, discerning the formality of a wedding should be easy when we know the formality of the invitation, chosen venue, and time of day of the wedding. Still, knowing the particulars, may not allay our confusion.

Informal Invitations, Formal Wedding and Informal Reception?

As an example of just how confusing decoding the dress code can be, let us look at the following common scenario. A couple chooses to create their wedding invitations, which appear rather informal. Yet, the ceremony will take place in the afternoon in a Catholic Church, with the reception scheduled for 5:30 pm at a country club.

While interpreting these formality clues, we find a mixed bag. The invitation is informal indicating informal attire. A Catholic Church wedding dictates formal daytime attire, and the dress code for evening country club events is typically cocktail attire.

Drum Roll...and The Best Guess is...

Since there are conflicting messages here, we use an educated guess and ignore the informality of the invitation. Thus, the advice would be for wedding guests to wear conservative – not too much skin – cocktail attire. This calls for a suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women.

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