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Focus on Wedding Guests While Planning

women toasting; wine; party

It seems that we all have strong feelings about what a wedding should be.  Many feel that it is the most important day of a couple’s life.  Well, it may be the most important day, so far, in a couple’s life.  But it is just another day for everyone else. 

Because this is true, we must plan carefully not only focusing on our wedding but also focusing attention on our guests.  After all, we are hosts to our guests.

Please Note

Parents are no longer financially responsible for their children’s weddings.  This also means that the wedding is no longer a social event for parents. 

How to Invite Guests to a Wedding in Vegas With No Reception?

Dear Polite One,

We will be getting married in Las Vegas and want to send out invitations to a select small group of people, as they have indicated that they would like to come.  This is only for a wedding (no reception).  

How do you word this sort of invitation?  Keep in mind that if anyone should want to come that they would have to pay for themselves. 

Las Vegas Wedding

Dear Las Vegas Wedding,

This could be as formal or informal as you wish.  You could verbally invite them as well.  But a standard wedding invitation is fine.  Just list Vegas as the location.  On a separate paper, include information about accommodations as an enclosure. 

If you are inviting them, it would only be polite to offer them something such as a dinner or welcome cocktail.  It isn’t polite to invite others are not offer them something.  Also, if all of you do go out for dinner, it would be assumed that you would pay because this is the polite thing to do.  So, please keep this in mind when inviting.

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

Bridal Couple Wants Guests to Provide Reception Dinner!

Dear Polite One,

I have friends marrying soon and they have done something that I have never seen, and it has upset the groom's parents tremendously. On their wedding invitations, they have asked the guests to bring a dish to pass. Isn't this a definite no-no? They are paying for a DJ and the groom's mother feels that if they can do that, then they can afford to feed their guests. I think this is causing some very bad feelings and I was hoping you could give me some advice.

Worried

Dear Worried,

This is unfortunate.  Nothing like this should ever be printed on an invitation.  Plus… Yikes!  Asking for food from your guests?  This is in very poor taste.  There is a very simple rule for all entertaining: you invite, you pay.  We only host the party we can afford to host.  Hopefully, they didn’t mention their registry or gift preferences on these as well.

It is best for the mothers not to become involved.  It really is none of her business, even if she is contributing.  The damage has been done and these comments cannot prevent them from making this mistake.  At this point, she would only seem judgmental.  It is unfortunate the children didn’t ask anyone for advice or at least read about proper etiquette before planning this.  They just may be embarrassed when they hear what others think. 

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

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--I was informed later that the couple did include their gift registry information in their invitations.  Very unfortunate. 

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