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Guest is Inviting Her Nephew to Our Daughter’s Wedding!

 shock; woman; white woman

Dear Polite One,

My daughter is getting married.  My wife is sending out the invitations for our guests and is including a co-worker.  This married co-worker informed my wife before she received the invitation that her incapacitated husband would not be attending so she is inviting her nephew so that they could drink together. 

First, the wedding is very costly.  Second, I told my wife that this response is totally unacceptable and that proper etiquette is to not invite anyone else in her husband’s place.  Do you agree? 

Containing My Anger

Dear Containing My Anger,

The first breach was to invite the coworker.  This isn’t your wife’s wedding even if you are paying for it.  Parents are no longer financially responsible for their children’s weddings.  This also means that the wedding is no longer a social event for the parents.  They don’t invite.  So, this was the first mistake.  If your daughter gave you a portion of the guest list, it is appropriate to invite whomever you wish to invite if these people are also close to your daughter. 

Spouses are always invited.  She could bring someone else instead of her husband if she was allowed a guest, which is proper etiquette.  It wasn’t appropriate for her to say what she did though.  That was in poor taste.

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

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