Skip to main content

Guest is Inviting Her Nephew to Our Daughter’s Wedding!

 shock; woman; white woman

Dear Polite One,

My daughter is getting married.  My wife is sending out the invitations for our guests and is including a co-worker.  This married co-worker informed my wife before she received the invitation that her incapacitated husband would not be attending so she is inviting her nephew so that they could drink together. 

First, the wedding is very costly.  Second, I told my wife that this response is totally unacceptable and that proper etiquette is to not invite anyone else in her husband’s place.  Do you agree? 

Containing My Anger

Dear Containing My Anger,

The first breach was to invite the coworker.  This isn’t your wife’s wedding even if you are paying for it.  Parents are no longer financially responsible for their children’s weddings.  This also means that the wedding is no longer a social event for the parents.  They don’t invite.  So, this was the first mistake.  If your daughter gave you a portion of the guest list, it is appropriate to invite whomever you wish to invite if these people are also close to your daughter. 

Spouses are always invited.  She could bring someone else instead of her husband if she was allowed a guest, which is proper etiquette.  It wasn’t appropriate for her to say what she did though.  That was in poor taste.

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

Money-Saving Wedding & Reception Tips

Money-Saving Officiate Tips

Money-Saving Cake Alternatives

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

4 of the Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered

After decades of answering etiquette questions, especially about weddings, I’d like to share a few of those questions that represent the majority of concerns.   Q: Is an invited coworker obligated to spend a certain amount? I'm going to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Should I buy both gifts off the registry? A: Unfortunately, yes. This is one of the biggest reasons I feel that the gift-less wedding shower is the smartest route for us to follow today.  Why should the couple receive more than one gift per guest?  It just doesn't make any sense and isn't fair to guests. Q : Registries feel so impersonal.   Is there any way to make it more personal? A: I honestly can't think of any way to make a registry more personal.  If a couple decides to register, they should choose items from the low end of the price range as well as the bigger ticket items, so the list doesn't appear to be a greed-fest.  Unfortunately, it can have th...
Post a Comment
Read more

When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents Dear Polite One,   On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents? Me First Dear Me First , We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past.    In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend.  So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order:  Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row).   If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order.  The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats.   Sincerely, The Polite One Seating Chart Dilemma Dear Polite One,   I'm working ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Wedding Etiquette 101: Wedding Gift Etiquette Advice for Guests

  Gift Registries, Cash Gifts, Group Gifts… Oh My! As an etiquette expert, I answer etiquette questions every day.   Many of those concern wedding etiquette, especially when it involves giving gifts.   This isn’t much of a surprise when the latest data provided by Forbes shows that the typical wedding guest spends approximately $673 just for the honor of attending.   Of course, this data includes an expensive mix of lodging and childcare.   However, attending the shower, bachelor, and bachelorette parties contributes much of this sum as well.   Follow along as I share my answers to actual wedding gift etiquette questions. Q : Must I buy the gift from the registry?   The couple registered at a higher-end department store with items such as a $300 espresso machine.   I know the bride loves her mochas, but that’s a bit pricy for me.   If I find the same machine at a discount store, can I purchase it there?   A : There is nothing...
Post a Comment
Read more