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What to wear and do I give for an engagement party?

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Dear Polite One,

I have been invited to an evening engagement cocktail party that will be held in a person's Seattle home.  What should I wear, and do I take a gift?

Thank you,

Curious in Seattle

Dear Curious in Seattle,

Traditions quickly crumble these days, but originally, this was a surprise party for guests to inform them of the couple's engagement. Because of this, only those close to the couple gave gifts and never at the party.  These were considered the bride's gifts but were not to be used until after the wedding. 

That said, for many rules such as this don't apply much anymore, making it difficult for all of us.  So, if you want to take a gift, you may.  If you are close family, you might want to ask other family members what they are doing.  Bottom line though, you are not obligated to give one. 

As for your attire, wear what you would to any cocktail party, as these are considered dressy affairs—a dressy pants suit, cocktail dress.  Basically, wear anything that makes you smile when you look in the mirror.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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