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Destination Wedding Q & A

Destination bridal couple

Dear Polite One,

My fiancé and I are planning to have a destination wedding in Mexico. What expenses of our guests are we obligated to pay?

Going South

Dear Going South,

The bridal couple is not obligated to pay for any of their guests’ travel or lodging expenses but is expected to provide “something.”   The expected gesture for their guests who travel and will incur substantial costs on their behalf doesn’t necessarily need to be expensive.  It is usually a wedding reception, which is expected, but the gesture could include a welcome cocktail or basket. 

The couple is only expected to pay for the lodging of their attendants. 

Dear Polite One,

Please inform me of the proper etiquette for destination weddings, which includes airplane travel.  Specifically, can the bride still have a traditional shower, etc.?  Are guests expected to spend as much on a gift as if the wedding were in town?  What else do I need to know about these types of weddings, which seem to be becoming more and more popular?

Unsure

Dear Unsure,

You are correct; destination weddings are popular. 

The bride still has the traditional showers, and as with all showers, except for workplace showers, all the guests must be those also invited to the wedding.  

Even though all gifts are optional and should never be expected, showers are designed to 'shower' the bride with gifts.  So, we are expected to give a gift if we attend a shower. 

An important consideration for the destination wedding is that gifts should be shipped to the couple. This is also true for all weddings but there are regional differences.

The cost of the wedding gift should never be scaled to the size, cost or location of the wedding.  Although those on the east coast feel differently, this is not proper. 

Please do not transport your gift or ask others if you are planning the wedding. One other consideration is that the guests are entirely responsible for their transportation and lodging for the destination wedding.  This is a major consideration and could cost guests thousands. 

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