Four Tips for Planning Your Wedding

Wedding planning can seem like a complicated dance. If we move too quickly without knowing the steps, we just may step on our partner’s toes. There are many steps to learn in this dance. So, get your dancing shoes on and I’ll help guide you through some of the more difficult steps.

Dear Polite One,

My daughter is planning a destination wedding. Our family will be extending our stay one week as a vacation. Will I need to pay for the groom, or should the groom's parents pay for his travel, hotel stay, and vacation package.

Pay or No?

Dear Pay or No?

Parents are no longer financially obligated for their children’s weddings. Children are more self-sufficient than in the past. Consequently, the bride and groom are responsible for their wedding and travel-related costs. Anything you choose to give them is a gift. After all, if they are grown up enough to marry, shouldn’t they be able to pay for it?

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Dear Polite One,

We are getting married soon and have a question about the father-daughter/mother-son dance. My fiancé suggested that halfway through the dance we should change partners. I would then dance with his father, while he dances with my mother. I have a special song picked out for my father and I would want this special time with him. Is there an alternative that would work with my fiancé's idea?

Dancing

Dear Dancing,

Typically, you would do exactly what your groom suggests. However, you could ask your disk jockey to mix another song into your chosen song as a signal to change partners. He/she should be able to do this easily.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Dear Polite One,

I am planning a 2 pm wedding. What is proper etiquette concerning the type of food to serve? Lunch, brunch, or will finger foods suffice?

Afternoon Wedding

Dear Afternoon Wedding,

As hosts, we always provide the food and beverages our guests would expect at the time of day we choose for our event. So, finger foods will be fine. Yours is an in-between meals reception. So, guests shouldn't be expecting a full meal.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Enjoy the wedding planning process!

Please Read

Nix Embarrassing Speeches & Rings All Around

Wedding Complications Q & A: Ignoring Groom's Parents

4 of the Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered

Comments

Bride Doesn’t Wants Alcohol or Dances at Reception

Dear Polite One, I've always dreamt that my wedding reception would be alcohol and dance-free - except for the first dance of the bride and groom. When running the idea past a few people they seemed shocked that I've taken out both of these elements and are making me doubt my idea . The wedding will be in the evening, and then dinner. Is there a steadfast rule that there must be alcohol and dance at a wedding? Isn't a nice dinner enough? And what things could be added to make it fun for the guests? Thank you, Visitor from Yorkton Saskatchewan Dear Yorkton Saskatchewan, People typically expect alcohol with their dinner at evening wedding receptions . So, it would probably be better if this were held earlier in the day. Dancing isn’t that important. However, it is better to skip all dances, rather than just the one dance with you. That may seem awkward. The only hard and fast rule is that we, as hosts, offer our guests what is typically expected at

Anti-Clueless Advice: What to Wear and What Gifts to Give

How to Decode the Dress Code and to Give the Right Gift Many questions I receive as an etiquette consultant are from wedding guests. Guests are especially concerned with what they should wear and what they should give as gifts . All who contact me are deeply worried about committing any type of faux pas, as many weddings tend to be surrounded by drama these days. For example, one guest shared that the bride called fuming that the gift she shipped to the bride's home was inadequate, so she returned it to the store for cash—true story. With crazy, hurtful behavior like that, it is no wonder wedding guests are apprehensive about wedding guest protocol. How do we know what to wear to a wedding? Wedding invitations are supposed to help guests understand the formality of a wedding. Often, this is not the case. Here is a real-life example: a guest received an invitation of heavy-weight paper indicating a formal wedding, but the location listed was a neighborhood park.

Should the Wedding Gift Cover the Cost of the Plate?

Hi Polite One, I need help. My step-cousin recently married. She is close with my parents, but not so much with me. Not because of anything bad, we just sort of lost touch, we just never see each other. In fact, I only see her once a year at Christmas. She comes from a wealthy family and her wedding was extremely lavish. I'm guessing minimum $300-$500 per plate. I was invited to the wedding with a guest and was concerned because I barely had the money to attend the wedding ( dress , shoes, etc.), let alone give a gift. My family is all about monetary gifts (always cash or check). My parents were insisting that I needed to cover the cost of my plate which was more than 2 weeks of my pay. I wanted to decline because I couldn't afford to go and was embarrassed. My parents insisted that it was family and that was not an option. I was told to do whatever I needed to do to get a dress, shoes, and cash gift to cover my plate. Because of the pressure, I responded that I would

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