My Boyfriend Invited But I Pay

The art of good manners is simple: treat others as you would like to be treated. Also, the well-manned always consider how his/her behavior affects others. This is the main axiom of manners. Consequently, the rule for who pays – for any event – is the one who invites. You invite, you pay. Simple.

Dear Polite One,

My boyfriend – we are well into our 50s – invited me to a family wedding. He is a member of the bridal party, so he will be busy with the wedding and won't sit with me. Also, the wedding is in another state, so we will be flying there and will require ground transportation as well. Initially, I accepted his invitation, but now realize that he expects me to pay my own way even though he invited me. Is this proper? Also, I'd rather not attend. Is it polite to decline the invitation?

Empty wallet

Dear Empty Wallet,

You are under no obligation to attend and are correct in thinking that if he invited you, he should have paid your fares. He should have ensured that you would be taken care of on each leg of your journey.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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