Dear Polite One,
I
found your site on Google and feel you could answer a sticky question regarding
wedding
etiquette. My niece is getting married and has limited seating at the
reception. Invitations were sent out for the number of seats
available.
The
RSVP cards are now coming back with acceptance for more than were
invited. For example, if the invitation was for Miss Smith, Miss Smith responded
for herself and a guest. Another example is Mr. & Mrs. John Doe responded
with Mr. & Mrs. John Doe and Johnny (the son).
How
is the mother of the bride supposed to handle these rsvps for people who were
not initially invited on the invitation? Thank you for your response
to this sticky situation.
Susan
Dear
Susan,
This
is a common problem with no real answer. We use the inner envelopes
so we can write exactly who is invited yet our guest insists on adding their
own names to the response card. My job is to tell you to grin and bear it
because that is the proper etiquette as hosts. However, you do not
have room for these added guests.
The
best way to deal with this problem, and we are stretching etiquette
boundaries, is for someone close to the bride, such as you, to contact these
offenders and tell them that only those on the invitation can attend the
wedding because there is not enough room. You could say something like
the bride was so distraught over this because she wanted to accommodate the
extra people but cannot. So, you told her not to worry about it, that you
would take care of it. This approach
just may gain sympathy for the bride.
I
really wish this wouldn't happen so often. This places so much of a
strain on everyone.
Good
luck with the calling!
Sincerely,
Rebecca
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