Invite Non-Wedding Guests to a Summer Supper?

Dear Polite One,

The attendants for my niece's wedding do not live near our family nor the wedding site, so none can host a shower for her. Also, the wedding will be very small. So, it will not include a lot of nearby family members.

The bride really would like a shower. I would like to host a shower for her but have been told it is not proper manners. Could I call this party a summer supper instead, inviting all those not invited to the wedding?

Aunt

Dear Aunt,

The bride shouldn't request a shower from anyone, it must be offered. More importantly, only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower or any other prewedding party. Changing the name of the event doesn't change that rule. It's considered insulting to be invited to a prewedding party and not the wedding.

Family should not host a shower, plus it is a small wedding. So, it is best if no one hosted her shower. It would be like asking each wedding guest for two wedding gifts.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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