Skip to main content

Invite Non-Wedding Guests to a Summer Supper?

 question mark

Dear Polite One,

The attendants for my niece's wedding do not live near our family nor the wedding site, so none can host a shower for her.  Also, the wedding will be very small.  So, it will not include a lot of nearby family members.

The bride really would like a shower.  I would like to host a shower for her but have been told it is not proper manners.  Could I call this party a summer supper instead, inviting all those not invited to the wedding?

Aunt

Dear Aunt,

The bride shouldn't request a shower from anyone, it must be offered.  More importantly, only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower or any other prewedding party.  Changing the name of the event doesn't change that rule.  It's considered insulting to be invited to a prewedding party and not the wedding.   

Family should not host a shower, plus it is a small wedding.  So, it is best if no one hosted her shower.  It would be like asking each wedding guest for two wedding gifts. 

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More from The Polite One

Mom wants to sell tickets and isn’t paying for meals!

Do aunts host the bridal shower?

May we combine the bachelorette and bridal shower?


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

4 of the Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered

After decades of answering etiquette questions, especially about weddings, I’d like to share a few of those questions that represent the majority of concerns.   Q: Is an invited coworker obligated to spend a certain amount? I'm going to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Should I buy both gifts off the registry? A: Unfortunately, yes. This is one of the biggest reasons I feel that the gift-less wedding shower is the smartest route for us to follow today.  Why should the couple receive more than one gift per guest?  It just doesn't make any sense and isn't fair to guests. Q : Registries feel so impersonal.   Is there any way to make it more personal? A: I honestly can't think of any way to make a registry more personal.  If a couple decides to register, they should choose items from the low end of the price range as well as the bigger ticket items, so the list doesn't appear to be a greed-fest.  Unfortunately, it can have th...
Post a Comment
Read more

When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents Dear Polite One,   On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents? Me First Dear Me First , We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past.    In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend.  So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order:  Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row).   If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order.  The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats.   Sincerely, The Polite One Seating Chart Dilemma Dear Polite One,   I'm working ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Wedding Etiquette 101: Wedding Gift Etiquette Advice for Guests

  Gift Registries, Cash Gifts, Group Gifts… Oh My! As an etiquette expert, I answer etiquette questions every day.   Many of those concern wedding etiquette, especially when it involves giving gifts.   This isn’t much of a surprise when the latest data provided by Forbes shows that the typical wedding guest spends approximately $673 just for the honor of attending.   Of course, this data includes an expensive mix of lodging and childcare.   However, attending the shower, bachelor, and bachelorette parties contributes much of this sum as well.   Follow along as I share my answers to actual wedding gift etiquette questions. Q : Must I buy the gift from the registry?   The couple registered at a higher-end department store with items such as a $300 espresso machine.   I know the bride loves her mochas, but that’s a bit pricy for me.   If I find the same machine at a discount store, can I purchase it there?   A : There is nothing...
Post a Comment
Read more