Is this a destination wedding?

Dear Polite One,

We decided on a destination wedding due to finances. But I'm not sure if it is truly a destination wedding since it is near us and many of our relatives. In any case, we'd like to invite only our parents and a couple very close friends. Afterward, we may host a reception for those not invited to the wedding. How do I announce the event? Is this rude to invite them to a reception and not the wedding? I feel guilty about not having a bigger wedding budget.

Thank You.

Sincerely,

Empty wallet

Dear Empty Wallet,

This isn't a destination wedding, but the rules are the same. Not all those invited to the reception must be invited to the wedding. But all wedding guests must be invited to the reception. This is because the wedding is a gift-giving event. You "reward" your wedding guests with a party, which is the reception, for which you cover all costs.

If this is a small, informal reception, a handwritten letter informing guests about the reception is fine. Mail these at least six weeks before your event. In fact, if this is a very informal wedding—informal attire and venue—you can invite by email or evite.

Your moms, groom, and you could even do all the cooking and have an open house type affair to keep the cost down. This can be quite simple.

Note

No potluck! Guests never provide the party. Also, reception guests are not expected to give gifts.

This is an example of a traditional wedding reception invitation. You do not need to word this as formally:

The pleasure of your company

is requested at the

wedding reception of

You

and

Mr. Groom

Date
Time

Location

Congratulations and enjoy!

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More From The Polite One

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Comments

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