Gift to cover the cost of the meal?

Dear Polite One,

One of our coworkers is getting married and has informed all of us who are invited that he expects our gifts to cover the cost he is paying per head for the reception. Many have scoffed and are not attending, which has put us in an awkward position.

I was under the impression that telling people the cost per person is a little rude. If a host must count the envelopes to pay for the reception, the host has a problem.

What are the obligations for gift giving as an invited guest? Do we need to start calling the reception halls to ask what the bride and groom are paying so as not to be looked at as being cheap?

Cringing

Dear Cringing,

Yikes! This is clueless and impolite. I completely agree with your sentiments. This is like saying, "I'm going to host a party for myself so I can get a lot of presents. Yea for me."

I wouldn't attend either. If you do, however, give a gift you wish to give.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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