Hi
Polite One,
My
boss is getting married and is planning a small wedding with a dinner reception
for about 60 people. She wants to let guests know
that they will be responsible for the cost of their own dinner.
How
would you word that on an invite? Is that tacky? It is a second marriage for
both. She just does not want to spend thousands on food. I have looked in
etiquette books and find nothing. It looks like it just isn't done.
Can
you advise?
Thank
you
Assistant
Dear
Assistant,
That
is not only tacky it is incredibly impolite. We never invite
guests to a party for which they are expected to provide. And this is a
reception? The couple is responsible to cover all costs.
The
very simple and fair rule is: you invite, you pay. So, if she doesn’t want to
spend money, she shouldn’t invite guests—a very simple solution. If she wants to
host some sort of party, she could provide a simple reception. It would have to
be hosted at a time when guests would not expect a meal.
Additionally,
she may need to know that their guests are not obligated to give gifts for the
reception.
Invitations
never include information about the dinner or gifts.
Sincerely,
The
Polite One
More
by The Polite One
Is it common
to be invited to a wedding reception beginning at 9 pm?
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