Is it common to be invited to a wedding reception beginning at 9 pm?

Dear Polite One,

I received a reception invitation stating that it begins at 9 pm. Is this common? I doubt dinner would be served as it is so late in the evening. Perhaps I was not invited to the dinner, just a dance? I am not sure if it is proper to ask the bride these questions. What do you think?

Curious

Dear Curious,

While it is common to have a small wedding and a larger reception, beginning a reception at 9 pm makes me wonder if this couple has invited some after the dinner and toasts. This is not polite.

Some couples feel that they will receive more gifts if they invite as many guests as possible to their receptions. Since it is expensive to feed everyone, they invite some for only the cake and dancing. Ironically, the gift is for the wedding, not the reception, which is why the gift is supposed to be shipped to the home before the wedding.

You could call the bride to ask, but typically this late at night, there would be little to no food. I wouldn't expect to be fed. The couple shouldn't be expecting a gift either.

I hope more brides will consider their guest's feelings.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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