Skip to main content

Married Aunt and Uncle want cash for Vow Renewal honeymoon!

man; cash; money; waving dollars

Dear Polite One,

My Aunt and Uncle recently sent me an invitation to their vow renewal. Now call me sarcastic but I honestly think it is silly to do that on your fifteenth wedding anniversary, it seems to me a celebration of mediocrity.  

My sarcasm led to full-on mean-spiritedness when a little card fell out of the envelope that read, "In lieu of gifts, contributions to our honeymoon would be appreciated."

What planet are they from? How can this not be seen as full-on crass behavior? They are expecting gifts but would prefer cash, to go on a honeymoon, even though they have been married for fifteen years.

I am their niece, their junior by a whole generation and they want me to help pay for their honeymoon? I think this is rude and presumptuous. I don't want to even go. Am I too harsh?

Thank you,

Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

Thank you!!! I have countless wives informing me how horrible I am because I write that they are not brides, their husbands are not grooms, and their vow renewal shouldn’t appear as a wedding. My attempts to inform couples of how this is perceived made little difference.  They still believe I am behind the times and out of touch. Your post may just help them all understand how inappropriate this really is. 

You are not too harsh.  Please feel free to save your cash. 

Thank you for sharing!

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

Are tuxes appropriate for a daytime wedding if the reception is after 6pm?

Are wishing wells and attendants proper for a vow renewal?

What is a proper vow renewal gift?

  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

4 of the Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered

After decades of answering etiquette questions, especially about weddings, I’d like to share a few of those questions that represent the majority of concerns.   Q: Is an invited coworker obligated to spend a certain amount? I'm going to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Should I buy both gifts off the registry? A: Unfortunately, yes. This is one of the biggest reasons I feel that the gift-less wedding shower is the smartest route for us to follow today.  Why should the couple receive more than one gift per guest?  It just doesn't make any sense and isn't fair to guests. Q : Registries feel so impersonal.   Is there any way to make it more personal? A: I honestly can't think of any way to make a registry more personal.  If a couple decides to register, they should choose items from the low end of the price range as well as the bigger ticket items, so the list doesn't appear to be a greed-fest.  Unfortunately, it can have th...

When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents Dear Polite One,   On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents? Me First Dear Me First , We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past.    In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend.  So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order:  Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row).   If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order.  The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats.   Sincerely, The Polite One Seating Chart Dilemma Dear Polite One,   I'm working ...

Do I wear nylons with strappy sandals for a fall evening wedding?

  Dear Polite One, From what I have read on your site, I should wear a cocktail (little black dress or equivalent) to a fall evening wedding at a golf country club.  Do, I need to wear nylons with my strappy sandals? Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin Dear Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin, Bravo on doing your attire homework!  You are absolutely correct about your attire choice.  Nylons aren't nearly as popular or expected due to our love of sandals. Strappy sandals look splendid with nice dresses, even in the winter.  FYI: It is a faux pas to wear nylons with open-toed shoes. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to dress for a wedding as "the second wife"? How to Dress for Formal Wedding in New York ? What to wear to a formal evening wedding in Napa?