Q: Are there special issues for widows who remarry, such as continuing to use your late husband's name if that's what you are known by professionally, or changing your name on deeds, bank accounts, etc.
A: Most importantly, the widowed who are remarrying should attempt to assuage angst some may be feeling about the upcoming nuptials.
She could use her previous husband’s name, but out of respect for her new husband, it is usually most polite for her to move on completely. He will be living in the shadow of her former husband in so many respects anyway and the name would be a constant reminder. This isn’t to say that women must change their names once they marry. Of course, she could use her maiden name.
Advice about changing her name on documents is not within my skill set.
Q: What are appropriate gifts and activities for a second marriage, such as an engagement party or bridal shower.
A: Many encore couples are foregoing gift-giving showers, as are many first-time brides. It really doesn’t make sense anymore. But they may often host an engagement party for themselves—sans gifts of course.
The couple should never host any gift-giving event for themselves, besides their wedding. Although, guests who gave a gift for a previous wedding are off the hook.
If any guests wish to give a gift, it can be the same sort of gift they would give to a first-time wedding couple. These gifts should thoughtful gifts based on our knowledge of the couple.
The bachelor and bachelorette parties just don’t seem appropriate for the encore couple, after all, they have been married before. So, one last night as a single person happened a long time ago.
Q: Do generational attitudes about second marriages differ?
A: Perhaps in some regions here in the U.S. but all in all, most people don’t consider it an issue unless one member appears to be a serial marrier.
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