Oh Please Stop! A Wife is Not a Bride.

Serial Weddings for the Same Couple is Not Polite...or nice

“What’s the point?” Vicky asks her fiancé when he suggests they marry privately in Barcelona and follow up with a formal affair back home. Of course, in this movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the reason for her question was a reluctance to say, “I do.” But it is a valid question for all of us, as it isn’t logical and from an etiquette viewpoint is as improper as one can get.

However, with so many celebrity couples opting for multiple wedding ceremonies – to the same people – the average person might assume that this practice is now, not only the “popular” new expression of love but appropriate, which it is neither. Basically, it is most impolite to guests who might consider this a real wedding and feel the need to give a gift. This often results in guests, even family, viewing this as a blatant grab since a wedding is a gift-giving event and the vow renewal is not.

For those of us who offer professional etiquette advice, this behavior makes it difficult. Day after day emails stream in asking questions related to the “second” wedding ceremony: “Is it a vow renewal, or is it a wedding?”

Obviously, it can’t be a wedding if the couple is already married, because really, how can a wife really be a bride? And what could a newly married couple have to renew?

Please Read

Vow Renewal Etiquette Made Easy

Benchmark Anniversary and Vow Renewal Tips

4 Tips to Prevent Bridal Shower Craziness

Comments

Bride Doesn’t Wants Alcohol or Dances at Reception

Dear Polite One, I've always dreamt that my wedding reception would be alcohol and dance-free - except for the first dance of the bride and groom. When running the idea past a few people they seemed shocked that I've taken out both of these elements and are making me doubt my idea . The wedding will be in the evening, and then dinner. Is there a steadfast rule that there must be alcohol and dance at a wedding? Isn't a nice dinner enough? And what things could be added to make it fun for the guests? Thank you, Visitor from Yorkton Saskatchewan Dear Yorkton Saskatchewan, People typically expect alcohol with their dinner at evening wedding receptions . So, it would probably be better if this were held earlier in the day. Dancing isn’t that important. However, it is better to skip all dances, rather than just the one dance with you. That may seem awkward. The only hard and fast rule is that we, as hosts, offer our guests wha...

Do I wear nylons with strappy sandals for a fall evening wedding?

Dear Polite One, From what I have read on your site, I should wear a cocktail (little black dress or equivalent) to a fall evening wedding at a golf country club. Do, I need to wear nylons with my strappy sandals? Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin Dear Wedding Newbie in Wisconsin, Bravo on doing your attire homework! You are absolutely correct about your attire choice. Nylons aren't nearly as popular or expected due to our love of sandals. Strappy sandals look splendid with nice dresses, even in the winter. FYI: It is a faux pas to wear nylons with open-toed shoes. Sincerely, The Polite One More by The Polite One How to dress for a wedding as "the second wife"? How to Dress for Formal Wedding in New York ? What to wear to a formal evening wedding in Napa?

Anti-Clueless Advice: What to Wear and What Gifts to Give

How to Decode the Dress Code and to Give the Right Gift Many questions I receive as an etiquette consultant are from wedding guests. Guests are especially concerned with what they should wear and what they should give as gifts . All who contact me are deeply worried about committing any type of faux pas, as many weddings tend to be surrounded by drama these days. For example, one guest shared that the bride called fuming that the gift she shipped to the bride's home was inadequate, so she returned it to the store for cash—true story. With crazy, hurtful behavior like that, it is no wonder wedding guests are apprehensive about wedding guest protocol. How do we know what to wear to a wedding? Wedding invitations are supposed to help guests understand the formality of a wedding. Often, this is not the case. Here is a real-life example: a guest received an invitation of heavy-weight paper indicating a formal wedding, but the location listed was a...

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