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A
Note on Vow Renewal Etiquette
I receive many questions regarding vow renewal etiquette. It seems to be an unfortunate trend for many young couples to marry in a small ceremony and to plan a 'wedding' for later in the same year. Please do not.
If you marry, you are married. It doesn't matter if you eloped or had the huge wedding you always wanted. To host two ceremonies, each designed to marry you is considered in extremely poor taste and completely illogical.
One
of the biggest reasons this is viewed negatively is that a wedding is a
gift-giving event, while the vow renewal is not. So, planning a vow renewal as
if it is a wedding creates the atmosphere of a gift-giving event. This should
be planned with ultimate care.
A
very few have said that it is heartless of me to point this out. One
such visitor said that I should be more considerate of other's feelings and not
be so down on their plans to have a second wedding. Those
of you who have been with me for years know better. I am here to help you make
decisions based logically and with proper etiquette in mind. My focus is to
help each of you to avoid doing anything that may embarrass you and to avoid
appearing in a negative.
Two Interesting Questions
Dear
Polite One,
My
husband and I are renewing our vows while on vacation. It will be a very small ceremony with only a
few friends in attendance. We want to
have a large reception (party) when we return home. How do we word the invitations?
Wants
to Party
Dear
Wants to Party,
Surprisingly,
the invitations are like those sent to guests for a wedding reception. There is only a slight difference in wording:
The pleasure of your company is requested at a reaffirmation reception
celebrating the renewal of the wedding vows of … Names, date, and
location. You could also simply state
your wish for each to join you in celebrating your anniversary. Then, you could surprise your guests with a
video—playing on your television—of your vow renewal. I imagine they’d love it.
Dear
Polite One,
My
husband and I would like to renew our vows for our tenth anniversary. We had a big wedding and wish to have a much
smaller quieter affair for our renewal.
Would it be appropriate to handwrite letters to each of our guests, or
do we have to send formal invitations?
This will be a very informal ceremony.
Smaller
Renewal with Few Guest
Dear
Smaller Renewal with Few Guest,
This
is very appropriate for a wedding renewal.
This type of invitation is much more intimate as if you are personally
inviting each guest. One caveat, please
ensure your guests know this isn’t a wedding.
Please
Read
Benchmark
Anniversary and Vow Renewal Tips
Rules: thank you
notes, sympathy letters, wedding enclosures...
Wedding
Anniversary Q & A: Card Box, Gifts, Wedding?
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