Wedding Etiquette Attire Interview: What are Today's Taboos?

This was an enjoyable interview with the ever-effervescent Deirdre Fitzpatrick of KCRA Sacramento, CA. I lost count of how many interviews I’ve had with her but each time was a hoot. This was our typical, “Let’s wing it; what questions do you have for me today...” interview. Deirdre always appeared truly interested in etiquette and doing what is right.

Q. Let’s speak a little about the dress code. Can guests wear white or black to a wedding or is that still considered unacceptable?

A: Black is popular and appropriate at all times of the day and for all times of the year. In fact, some brides prefer their guests in black or at least both mothers, which wasn’t proper in the past. White is even acceptable these days with a caveat. The outfit must not resemble bride attire.

In fact, the only taboo color for guests to wear these days is red. Even so, the most egregious breach of dress code conduct we see today is the guest who wears flashy, revealing attire. All eyes are on the gaudy guest instead of the couple—extremely disrespectful. Many times, the abuser is viewed as an event herself. Very unfortunate.

Q: Is there anything that a bride should consider about her own attire especially if this is not her first marriage?

A: All brides should choose attire that is most appropriate for the formality of her wedding, the venue (church attire should be more conservative), and age.

A blusher veil is the only no-no for today’s encore bride. Additionally, if the bride has more than two weddings under her satin belt, it’s best she scales down the following weddings slightly to lessen wedding fatigue.

Please Read

Anti-Clueless Advice: How to Plan a Wedding That Doesn't Insult Guests

Encore Wedding Planning

Encore Wedding Guest Tips: Avoid Rolling Eyes and Whispering

Comments

Bride Doesn’t Wants Alcohol or Dances at Reception

Dear Polite One, I've always dreamt that my wedding reception would be alcohol and dance-free - except for the first dance of the bride and groom. When running the idea past a few people they seemed shocked that I've taken out both of these elements and are making me doubt my idea . The wedding will be in the evening, and then dinner. Is there a steadfast rule that there must be alcohol and dance at a wedding? Isn't a nice dinner enough? And what things could be added to make it fun for the guests? Thank you, Visitor from Yorkton Saskatchewan Dear Yorkton Saskatchewan, People typically expect alcohol with their dinner at evening wedding receptions . So, it would probably be better if this were held earlier in the day. Dancing isn’t that important. However, it is better to skip all dances, rather than just the one dance with you. That may seem awkward. The only hard and fast rule is that we, as hosts, offer our guests what is typically expected at

Anti-Clueless Advice: What to Wear and What Gifts to Give

How to Decode the Dress Code and to Give the Right Gift Many questions I receive as an etiquette consultant are from wedding guests. Guests are especially concerned with what they should wear and what they should give as gifts . All who contact me are deeply worried about committing any type of faux pas, as many weddings tend to be surrounded by drama these days. For example, one guest shared that the bride called fuming that the gift she shipped to the bride's home was inadequate, so she returned it to the store for cash—true story. With crazy, hurtful behavior like that, it is no wonder wedding guests are apprehensive about wedding guest protocol. How do we know what to wear to a wedding? Wedding invitations are supposed to help guests understand the formality of a wedding. Often, this is not the case. Here is a real-life example: a guest received an invitation of heavy-weight paper indicating a formal wedding, but the location listed was a neighborhood park.

Should the Wedding Gift Cover the Cost of the Plate?

Hi Polite One, I need help. My step-cousin recently married. She is close with my parents, but not so much with me. Not because of anything bad, we just sort of lost touch, we just never see each other. In fact, I only see her once a year at Christmas. She comes from a wealthy family and her wedding was extremely lavish. I'm guessing minimum $300-$500 per plate. I was invited to the wedding with a guest and was concerned because I barely had the money to attend the wedding ( dress , shoes, etc.), let alone give a gift. My family is all about monetary gifts (always cash or check). My parents were insisting that I needed to cover the cost of my plate which was more than 2 weeks of my pay. I wanted to decline because I couldn't afford to go and was embarrassed. My parents insisted that it was family and that was not an option. I was told to do whatever I needed to do to get a dress, shoes, and cash gift to cover my plate. Because of the pressure, I responded that I would

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