Skip to main content

Answers to Five Bridal Party Questions

 Bridal Party, attendants, flower gifls, financial responsibilities, attire,

Who receives gifts from the bridal couple?

Dear Polite One,

I know the bride and groom are supposed to give gifts to their parents and wedding attendants, is anyone else on that gift list?  What about Grandparents and other family members?

Gifting

Dear Gifting,

The only gifts that are obligatory are those to the attendants.  A parental gift is optional. 

What is the proper age of a flower girl, junior bridesmaid and ring child?

Dear Polite One,

What's the appropriate age range between a flower girl and a Junior Bridesmaid?

Girly Issues

Dear Girly Issues,

The flower and ring child should be between the ages of four to eight. Junior attendants should be between the ages of nine to fourteen. 

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Is a 30-year-old too old to be a flower girl?

Dear Polite One,

My question may sound slightly odd but here it goes.  I’m 30 and have a friend since early childhood of the same age.  One of my most cherished memories is sitting around talking about wanting to be a flower girl which neither of us had the opportunity.   

Now I’m getting married soon and would like my friend to be my flower girl.  I realize it isn’t typical.  But she and my mother think it’s sweet.  My fiancé has no opinion and just wants me to be happy.  Do you think it’s crazy?  I don’t want to embarrass anyone. 

Best,

Hopeful

Dear Hopeful,

I’ll play mirror here.  In your first sentence, you admit your idea may sound odd.  Truly, it is the first time I’ve heard of an adult flower girl, so there is that.  Some guests just may giggle and that might embarrass your friend.  Then again, I suppose if your reasoning for including her was mentioned in your program, the giggles might very well turn into “ahs”. 

There is no 'rule' against it. It is just one of those expectations that the flower girl will be of a certain age. Because of our lifestyles rules and traditions change daily. A MOH is no longer gender-specific and anyone can escort the bride down the aisle.  This is your choice and perhaps everyone will react positively. But be forewarned that they may not.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Soloist in the same attire as the bridesmaids?

Dear Polite One,

Is it appropriate to ask our soloist to wear attire the same or similar as the bridesmaids?  May she march in the procession with the wedding party?

Friend of Soloist

Dear Friend of Soloist,

Even though this isn't typical, it isn't a breach of etiquette. So, if this is what you would like and she is willing, go for it.  I think it will appear charming.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Mother of the Groom Attire

Dear Polite One,

My son is getting married in September and I am not sure of what color to wear. The bridesmaids' dress is a two-piece dress: the top is black, the bottom red. Additionally, what is the proper etiquette for my financial responsibilities? Thanks so much for your help!

Two-Part Question

Dear Two-Part Question,

Traditionally the bride's parents are responsible for the major portion of the wedding expenses with the groom's parents responsible for the officiate, flowers, transportation, the rehearsal dinner, various expenses for the reception, and the honeymoon.  However, fewer are following those old, tired rules. 

Couples typically pay for their own weddings or the costs are split so everyone can help the couple in the best way possible.  More couples can pay for their own weddings these days and really should.  No longer does the bride live at home taken care of by her father until the day she marries someone who can then take care of her.  Women take care of themselves—they should pay too.

Because the bridesmaid's dresses are red and black, you could wear a dress or evening pantsuit with those colors in it.  You should first ask the mother of the bride what she plans on wearing though.  She is to choose first and you then coordinate your outfit according to hers.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

Please Read

Anti-Clueless Advice: How to Plan a Wedding That Doesn't Insult Guests

Wedding Guest Attire Advice: Decoding the Dress Code

Nix Embarrassing Speeches & Rings All Around

 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bride Doesn’t Wants Alcohol or Dances at Reception

Dear Polite One, I've always dreamt that my wedding reception would be alcohol and dance-free - except for the first dance of the bride and groom.  When running the idea past a few people they seemed shocked that I've taken out both of these elements and are making me doubt my idea . The wedding will be in the evening, and then dinner. Is there a steadfast rule that there must be alcohol and dance at a wedding?  Isn't a nice dinner enough? And what things could be added to make it fun for the guests? Thank you, Visitor from Yorkton Saskatchewan Dear Yorkton Saskatchewan, People typically expect alcohol with their dinner at evening wedding receptions .  So, it would probably be better if this were held earlier in the day.  Dancing isn’t that important.  However, it is better to skip all dances, rather than just the one dance with you.  That may seem awkward.  The only hard and fast rule is that we, as hosts, offer our guests what is typically expected at
Post a Comment
Read more

Anti-Clueless Advice: What to Wear and What Gifts to Give

How to Decode the Dress Code and to Give the Right Gift Many questions I receive as an etiquette consultant are from wedding guests. Guests are especially concerned with what they should wear and what they should give as gifts .   All who contact me are deeply worried about committing any type of faux pas, as many weddings tend to be surrounded by drama these days. For example, one guest shared that the bride called fuming that the gift she shipped to the bride's home was inadequate, so she returned it to the store for cash—true story.     With crazy, hurtful behavior like that, it is no wonder wedding guests are apprehensive about wedding guest protocol. How do we know what to wear to a wedding? Wedding invitations are supposed to help guests understand the formality of a wedding.   Often, this is not the case.   Here is a real-life example: a guest received an invitation of heavy-weight paper indicating a formal wedding, but the location listed was a neighborhood park.
Post a Comment
Read more

Should the Wedding Gift Cover the Cost of the Plate?

Hi Polite One, I need help. My step-cousin recently married. She is close with my parents, but not so much with me. Not because of anything bad, we just sort of lost touch, we just never see each other. In fact, I only see her once a year at Christmas. She comes from a wealthy family and her wedding was extremely lavish. I'm guessing minimum $300-$500 per plate. I was invited to the wedding with a guest and was concerned because I barely had the money to attend the wedding ( dress , shoes, etc.), let alone give a gift. My family is all about monetary gifts (always cash or check). My parents were insisting that I needed to cover the cost of my plate which was more than 2 weeks of my pay. I wanted to decline because I couldn't afford to go and was embarrassed. My parents insisted that it was family and that was not an option. I was told to do whatever I needed to do to get a dress, shoes, and cash gift to cover my plate. Because of the pressure, I responded that I would
Post a Comment
Read more