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3 Wedding Invitation Woes Solved

 Wedding invitation envelope

It would seem that a wedding invitation is a simple piece of communication, but it is far more.  Because of that fact, there is an endless list of questions couples have.  Here are three common situations with my solutions. 

Dear Polite One,

My fiancé and I are starting to plan our wedding. It is the second for both of us.  We've discussed the guest list and who would be our attendants.  My mother informed us that if we invite one family member, we must invite them all.  However, both my fiancé and I wish to invite only those family and friends with whom we feel close. That would mean some aunts, uncles, and cousins may not be invited.

Wants Small Wedding

Dear Wants Small Wedding

You make the rules for the second wedding.  You will be paying for this, as most are for their firsts these days, and don’t have to invite anyone with whom you are not close.  So, invite the one and not worry about the siblings. 

Dear Polite One,

I'm not sure how to address the envelope when the wife is a Ph.D. (she is a professor) and the husband does not have a title other than Mr. If she were a medical doctor, I understand Mr. John and Dr. Jane Doe would be appropriate, but for a doctor who is not an MD, how do you handle the address? 

Also, for others who are Ph.D. doctors is it appropriate to address them as such, or is Doctor on invitations reserved for medical doctors only?

Dr., Doctor, Ph.D.?

Dear Dr., Doctor, Ph.D.?

The Outer Envelope Could Be

Professor Jane Doe, or Jane Doe, Ph.D.  

Mr. John Doe

Address

However, if she uses the title Doctor, then you should use it on the outer envelope as:

Dr. Jane and Mr. John Doe

On the Inner Envelope

Professor Doe and Mr. Doe

Or,

Dr. and Mr. Doe

Doctor or Dr. has been reserved for medical doctors in correspondence until very recently.  Now it is appropriate to use Dr. for all who have a Ph.D. 

Dear Polite One,

Since my husband and I are paying for our daughter’s wedding, must we list his parents on the wedding invitations?  The invitations are computer generated and will just about hold the info need.

Too Much Info

Dear Too Much Info

Traditionally, his parents do not need to be included on the invitation.  They may be included, but it is not necessary.  If they are contributing for the reception or more than is traditionally expected, including them is a nice gesture. 

If this is a formal wedding, the invitations should be engraved or printed by a professional.  Other than that, the computer-generated should be fine. However, please do not computer generate the thank you notes or letters.  These should be handwritten.

More From The Polite One

Wedding Etiquette 101: How to Say You're not Invited to the Wedding?

Wedding Invitations: Email, Response Card, Guest Issues

Wedding Correspondence Q & A: Including Registry Info?

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