Skip to main content

3 Wedding Invitation Woes Solved

 Wedding invitation envelope

It would seem that a wedding invitation is a simple piece of communication, but it is far more.  Because of that fact, there is an endless list of questions couples have.  Here are three common situations with my solutions. 

Dear Polite One,

My fiancé and I are starting to plan our wedding. It is the second for both of us.  We've discussed the guest list and who would be our attendants.  My mother informed us that if we invite one family member, we must invite them all.  However, both my fiancé and I wish to invite only those family and friends with whom we feel close. That would mean some aunts, uncles, and cousins may not be invited.

Wants Small Wedding

Dear Wants Small Wedding

You make the rules for the second wedding.  You will be paying for this, as most are for their firsts these days, and don’t have to invite anyone with whom you are not close.  So, invite the one and not worry about the siblings. 

Dear Polite One,

I'm not sure how to address the envelope when the wife is a Ph.D. (she is a professor) and the husband does not have a title other than Mr. If she were a medical doctor, I understand Mr. John and Dr. Jane Doe would be appropriate, but for a doctor who is not an MD, how do you handle the address? 

Also, for others who are Ph.D. doctors is it appropriate to address them as such, or is Doctor on invitations reserved for medical doctors only?

Dr., Doctor, Ph.D.?

Dear Dr., Doctor, Ph.D.?

The Outer Envelope Could Be

Professor Jane Doe, or Jane Doe, Ph.D.  

Mr. John Doe

Address

However, if she uses the title Doctor, then you should use it on the outer envelope as:

Dr. Jane and Mr. John Doe

On the Inner Envelope

Professor Doe and Mr. Doe

Or,

Dr. and Mr. Doe

Doctor or Dr. has been reserved for medical doctors in correspondence until very recently.  Now it is appropriate to use Dr. for all who have a Ph.D. 

Dear Polite One,

Since my husband and I are paying for our daughter’s wedding, must we list his parents on the wedding invitations?  The invitations are computer generated and will just about hold the info need.

Too Much Info

Dear Too Much Info

Traditionally, his parents do not need to be included on the invitation.  They may be included, but it is not necessary.  If they are contributing for the reception or more than is traditionally expected, including them is a nice gesture. 

If this is a formal wedding, the invitations should be engraved or printed by a professional.  Other than that, the computer-generated should be fine. However, please do not computer generate the thank you notes or letters.  These should be handwritten.

More From The Polite One

Wedding Etiquette 101: How to Say You're not Invited to the Wedding?

Wedding Invitations: Email, Response Card, Guest Issues

Wedding Correspondence Q & A: Including Registry Info?

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bride Doesn’t Wants Alcohol or Dances at Reception

Dear Polite One, I've always dreamt that my wedding reception would be alcohol and dance-free - except for the first dance of the bride and groom.  When running the idea past a few people they seemed shocked that I've taken out both of these elements and are making me doubt my idea . The wedding will be in the evening, and then dinner. Is there a steadfast rule that there must be alcohol and dance at a wedding?  Isn't a nice dinner enough? And what things could be added to make it fun for the guests? Thank you, Visitor from Yorkton Saskatchewan Dear Yorkton Saskatchewan, People typically expect alcohol with their dinner at evening wedding receptions .  So, it would probably be better if this were held earlier in the day.  Dancing isn’t that important.  However, it is better to skip all dances, rather than just the one dance with you.  That may seem awkward.  The only hard and fast rule is that we, as hosts, offer our guests what is typically expected at
Post a Comment
Read more

Anti-Clueless Advice: What to Wear and What Gifts to Give

How to Decode the Dress Code and to Give the Right Gift Many questions I receive as an etiquette consultant are from wedding guests. Guests are especially concerned with what they should wear and what they should give as gifts .   All who contact me are deeply worried about committing any type of faux pas, as many weddings tend to be surrounded by drama these days. For example, one guest shared that the bride called fuming that the gift she shipped to the bride's home was inadequate, so she returned it to the store for cash—true story.     With crazy, hurtful behavior like that, it is no wonder wedding guests are apprehensive about wedding guest protocol. How do we know what to wear to a wedding? Wedding invitations are supposed to help guests understand the formality of a wedding.   Often, this is not the case.   Here is a real-life example: a guest received an invitation of heavy-weight paper indicating a formal wedding, but the location listed was a neighborhood park.
Post a Comment
Read more

Should the Wedding Gift Cover the Cost of the Plate?

Hi Polite One, I need help. My step-cousin recently married. She is close with my parents, but not so much with me. Not because of anything bad, we just sort of lost touch, we just never see each other. In fact, I only see her once a year at Christmas. She comes from a wealthy family and her wedding was extremely lavish. I'm guessing minimum $300-$500 per plate. I was invited to the wedding with a guest and was concerned because I barely had the money to attend the wedding ( dress , shoes, etc.), let alone give a gift. My family is all about monetary gifts (always cash or check). My parents were insisting that I needed to cover the cost of my plate which was more than 2 weeks of my pay. I wanted to decline because I couldn't afford to go and was embarrassed. My parents insisted that it was family and that was not an option. I was told to do whatever I needed to do to get a dress, shoes, and cash gift to cover my plate. Because of the pressure, I responded that I would
Post a Comment
Read more