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Polite Couples Follow These Destination Wedding Rules

Destination Wedding Couple 

Why host your wedding in a county courthouse when you could be taking those nuptials to Hawaii or some other tropical location?  Sounds great, doesn’t it?  Yes, it is.  Still, due to the costs involved, you just may be the only two enjoying those nuptials.  Fold in those traditional wedding elements that might irritate guests already cash-strapped due to those costs...well, you might lose relationships as well.  What to do?  How to plan your destination wedding with guests in mind?  I’ve got you covered!

Save The Date

Even though save-the-date cards are optional, it is best to notify your guests well ahead of the wedding date (perhaps a year).  Many, if not most, must take vacation time and this may require a year's notice. 

Please Note

Include a travel agent or venue contact information. 

All who receive save the date cards also receive invitations.

Use the preferred gift shipment address for your RSVP address.  This will help minimize guests shipping or carrying gifts to your destination wedding site.

Beware Resort Day-Use-Fees

One of the biggest issues for a destination wedding is the "day-use-fee" for guests attending the wedding but not staying at the hotel where the event is held, especially for all-inclusive resorts.  This is essentially an entrance fee of $45-$100 per person.  The polite couple is responsible for this fee. 

I’m Out 3 Grand & She Wants an Additional Gift?

Showers are another touchy issue.  Guests can get very grumpy when their discretional cash disappears.

With the destination wedding, it may be best to accept only gift-less showers, as the wedding guest list is typically smaller and attending the wedding is usually more expensive for guests.  Just consider that if all were invited to the shower, all would be giving two gifts each.  So, it isn't polite to expect them to fork over more money for an additional gift. 

Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower.

How About Attendants?

Who pays for attendants' lodging?  Unfortunately for all involved, the bridal couple is responsible for, at least, two nights which can be a huge expense.  It’s also expensive for the attendant who bought the dress or rented the tux and bought a plane ticket.  Plus, all the incidental travel costs.  So, couples may want to limit the number of attendants. 

Wait!  There’s More

Finally, the happy couple should provide guests with "something" to thank their guests beside a reception.  A welcome drink and/or a nice basket filled with local goodies are welcomed.  Please share your alternatives. 

A reception hosted at home upon the couple's return is appropriate for those family members who could not attend the wedding.  Please remember that this is not a gift-giving event.

Take plenty of pictures and videos of your ceremony to play during the reception.

More by The Polite One

3 Wedding Invitation Woes Solved  

Destination Wedding Q & A

Four Tips for Planning Your Wedding

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