Skip to main content

My children weren’t invited to the wedding, but others were.

 angry child; angry boy

Dear Polite One,

I am so angry and insulted as my children weren't invited to my niece's wedding, but others were.  The invitation clearly stated that children were not welcome.  I contacted the bride to make sure and she said that there will be child attendants, but no others.  There were 10 other children enjoying the reception while mine were stuck with a babysitter. 

Angry Aunt

Dear Angry Aunt,

This is the principal reason I always advise couples not to include children in their wedding if not inviting them to the wedding/reception.  It causes hurt feelings when guests see other children at the reception.  That said, you mentioned that the invitation clearly stated that children were not welcome. That is a big no-no. Those guests who are invited are mentioned on the invitation envelope. That's unfortunate. Many people do not know this though.

Perhaps the children enjoying the reception were not invited, as is common. Many guests do not know how to be good guests or just don't know what is proper. So, they invite their children to events.  This very well could be the case here.  

If not, well, we will never know why these children were invited and yours were not. The couple could have been pressured into inviting these few, which is never nice, but happens.  

It is best to let this go.  The couple wanted a childfree event but ended up with more than they wanted. At least you were good enough to follow their wishes. You did the right thing.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

How to convey to guests that they must pay for their wedding reception meals?

Is it common to be invited to a wedding reception beginning at 9 pm?

Is a dinner reception best?

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

4 of the Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered

After decades of answering etiquette questions, especially about weddings, I’d like to share a few of those questions that represent the majority of concerns.   Q: Is an invited coworker obligated to spend a certain amount? I'm going to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Should I buy both gifts off the registry? A: Unfortunately, yes. This is one of the biggest reasons I feel that the gift-less wedding shower is the smartest route for us to follow today.  Why should the couple receive more than one gift per guest?  It just doesn't make any sense and isn't fair to guests. Q : Registries feel so impersonal.   Is there any way to make it more personal? A: I honestly can't think of any way to make a registry more personal.  If a couple decides to register, they should choose items from the low end of the price range as well as the bigger ticket items, so the list doesn't appear to be a greed-fest.  Unfortunately, it can have th...
Post a Comment
Read more

When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents Dear Polite One,   On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents? Me First Dear Me First , We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past.    In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend.  So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order:  Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row).   If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order.  The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats.   Sincerely, The Polite One Seating Chart Dilemma Dear Polite One,   I'm working ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Wedding Etiquette 101: Wedding Gift Etiquette Advice for Guests

  Gift Registries, Cash Gifts, Group Gifts… Oh My! As an etiquette expert, I answer etiquette questions every day.   Many of those concern wedding etiquette, especially when it involves giving gifts.   This isn’t much of a surprise when the latest data provided by Forbes shows that the typical wedding guest spends approximately $673 just for the honor of attending.   Of course, this data includes an expensive mix of lodging and childcare.   However, attending the shower, bachelor, and bachelorette parties contributes much of this sum as well.   Follow along as I share my answers to actual wedding gift etiquette questions. Q : Must I buy the gift from the registry?   The couple registered at a higher-end department store with items such as a $300 espresso machine.   I know the bride loves her mochas, but that’s a bit pricy for me.   If I find the same machine at a discount store, can I purchase it there?   A : There is nothing...
Post a Comment
Read more