Skip to main content

Wedding renewal after a long separation?

 pretty woman; woman with red hair

Hi Polite One,

My husband and I were married for 11 years, separated for three years, and are now back together.   We would like to host a vow renewal since we were never divorced.   Would it appear proper or strange for our guests? Ours would be a simple renewal at the church with our children standing with us and family and a couple friends as guests.  Our attire would be simple, but appropriate--no wedding attire.  No attendants of course.  Maybe a candle to light with a couple flower arrangements at the church.  We would host a BBQ-type reception at our home. May we have a "wedding" cake and maybe a small thank you favor for people to take home?

Blessed

Dear Blessed,

This is a perfect reason to host a vow renewal.  The ceremony and reception you describe sound great, especially since you aren't inviting many guests.  Your attire is fine.  The "wedding cake" might not be a good idea.  Still, just include writing on the cake, and you are set.  

Congratulations!  

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

How to plan a vow renewal for our 10th anniversary?

Is a 30th-anniversary vow renewal in Hawaii proper?

What is a proper vow renewal gift?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

4 of the Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered

After decades of answering etiquette questions, especially about weddings, I’d like to share a few of those questions that represent the majority of concerns.   Q: Is an invited coworker obligated to spend a certain amount? I'm going to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Should I buy both gifts off the registry? A: Unfortunately, yes. This is one of the biggest reasons I feel that the gift-less wedding shower is the smartest route for us to follow today.  Why should the couple receive more than one gift per guest?  It just doesn't make any sense and isn't fair to guests. Q : Registries feel so impersonal.   Is there any way to make it more personal? A: I honestly can't think of any way to make a registry more personal.  If a couple decides to register, they should choose items from the low end of the price range as well as the bigger ticket items, so the list doesn't appear to be a greed-fest.  Unfortunately, it can have th...

When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents Dear Polite One,   On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents? Me First Dear Me First , We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past.    In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend.  So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order:  Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row).   If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order.  The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats.   Sincerely, The Polite One Seating Chart Dilemma Dear Polite One,   I'm working ...

Oh Please Stop! A Wife is Not a Bride.

Serial Weddings for the Same Couple is Not Polite...or nice  “What’s the point?” Vicky asks her fiancĂ© when he suggests they marry privately in Barcelona and follow up with a formal affair back home.   Of course, in this movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona , the reason for her question was a reluctance to say, “I do.”   But it is a valid question for all of us, as it isn’t logical and from an etiquette viewpoint is as improper as one can get.   However, with so many celebrity couples opting for multiple wedding ceremonies – to the same people – the average person might assume that this practice is now, not only the “popular” new expression of love but appropriate, which it is neither.   Basically, it is most impolite to guests who might consider this a real wedding and feel the need to give a gift.   This often results in guests, even family, viewing this as a blatant grab since a wedding is a gift-giving event and the vow renewal is not.   For those...