As a Destination Wedding Guest, Am I Responsible for My Travel Expenses?

After decades of answering etiquette questions, especially about weddings, I’d like to share a few of those questions that represent the majority of concerns. Q: Is an invited coworker obligated to spend a certain amount? I'm going to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Should I buy both gifts off the registry? A: Unfortunately, yes. This is one of the biggest reasons I feel that the gift-less wedding shower is the smartest route for us to follow today. Why should the couple receive more than one gift per guest? It just doesn't make any sense and isn't fair to guests. Q : Registries feel so impersonal. Is there any way to make it more personal? A: I honestly can't think of any way to make a registry more personal. If a couple decides to register, they should choose items from the low end of the price range as well as the bigger ticket items, so the list doesn't appear to be a greed-fest. Unfortunately, it can have th...

When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents Dear Polite One, On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents? Me First Dear Me First , We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past. In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend. So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order: Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row). If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order. The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats. Sincerely, The Polite One Seating Chart Dilemma Dear Polite One, I'm working ...

Wedding Gripes and Opinions

To say that weddings have become more than just uniting two people is an understatement. Weddings are big business these days. Because of this, the simple ceremony where two people and their families gather to join in marriage has become this mammoth event with a life of its own. So, many times and for many people, weddings have become a colossal headache, with unrealistic expectations, debt, and hurt feelings all around. And, for what? To have the "perfect" wedding (whatever that is), to pretend to be a princess for a day, or to just please mothers who want to be that perfect little princess vicariously through their daughters? It can be exhausting. And how do guests and attendants feel about the current wedding climate? How do they feel about the endless wedding-related events, gifts, and expectations? What are their gripes and feelings about the all-important day to play dress-up, better known as the wedding? ...

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