Skip to main content

Skip Traditional Seating of the Mothers?

woman; questions

Dear Polite One, 

I am the mother of the bride and would like to know if the mothers can skip walking down the aisle?

Our children are planning a small wedding for 130 in a sweet chapel. My parents are divorced and DO NOT get along.   So, we would like to figure out a way so that we may all be seated without being taken down the aisle.  Then, couldn’t we mothers and fathers stand up at some point when the music starts to light a unity candle?  Afterward, my husband would walk back to be with our daughter. 

Our children don’t really care about doing things the way “everyone” else does. Does this sound ok with you? We want this to be ALL about the kids.  Everyone invited knows we’re the mothers.

Linda

Dear Linda,

Sure, any of these traditions can be changed.  You can seat yourself anytime you wish.  All four parents can light the candle at any time.  Typically, though, this is part of the ceremony.  Your husband could walk your daughter down the aisle and sit.  Then at some time during the ceremony, the officiate could ask all of you to join the couple in lighting the unity candle. 

Or he could walk her down the aisle, give her hand to her groom, escort you from your seat to the candles, the groom's parents now stand and do the same.  Each couple represents one united person and light one candle each—two candles total.  The couple then picks up the two candles and lights one together representing a united couple.  Then the ceremony can begin.  I've seen this done a few times as well. 

So, you do have options.  Best yet, you can create your own version. 

Now, if you want to avoid walking down the aisle just because of your parents, they don't have to be a part of the equation.  The grandmothers can be seated early, very early, then the groom's mother with you last.  This could solve your problem.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

As a Destination Wedding Guest, Am I Responsible for My Travel Expenses?

Menacing Sisters Refuse Bride’s Chosen Colors

Bitchy Bride Refuses to Invite Mom’s Boyfriend or His Family

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

4 of the Most Asked Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered

After decades of answering etiquette questions, especially about weddings, I’d like to share a few of those questions that represent the majority of concerns.   Q: Is an invited coworker obligated to spend a certain amount? I'm going to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Should I buy both gifts off the registry? A: Unfortunately, yes. This is one of the biggest reasons I feel that the gift-less wedding shower is the smartest route for us to follow today.  Why should the couple receive more than one gift per guest?  It just doesn't make any sense and isn't fair to guests. Q : Registries feel so impersonal.   Is there any way to make it more personal? A: I honestly can't think of any way to make a registry more personal.  If a couple decides to register, they should choose items from the low end of the price range as well as the bigger ticket items, so the list doesn't appear to be a greed-fest.  Unfortunately, it can have th...
Post a Comment
Read more

When and Where to Seat and Sit

Playing Musical Chairs With Parents Dear Polite One,   On the day of the wedding when it becomes time to seat the parents of the bride and groom, who sits first and last especially when dealing with stepparents? Me First Dear Me First , We have more parental issues to deal with these days than we did in the past.    In fact, more weddings are encore wedding than first, which reflects this trend.  So, to keep everyone happy and separate, we seat parents in this order:  Groom’s father and stepmother (third row); Bride’s father and stepmother (third row); Groom’s mother and stepfather (first row); Bride’s mother and stepfather (first row).   If everyone is on friendly terms, all parents may sit in the front row in the given order.  The stepparents follow the person escorting parents to their seats.   Sincerely, The Polite One Seating Chart Dilemma Dear Polite One,   I'm working ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Wedding Etiquette 101: Wedding Gift Etiquette Advice for Guests

  Gift Registries, Cash Gifts, Group Gifts… Oh My! As an etiquette expert, I answer etiquette questions every day.   Many of those concern wedding etiquette, especially when it involves giving gifts.   This isn’t much of a surprise when the latest data provided by Forbes shows that the typical wedding guest spends approximately $673 just for the honor of attending.   Of course, this data includes an expensive mix of lodging and childcare.   However, attending the shower, bachelor, and bachelorette parties contributes much of this sum as well.   Follow along as I share my answers to actual wedding gift etiquette questions. Q : Must I buy the gift from the registry?   The couple registered at a higher-end department store with items such as a $300 espresso machine.   I know the bride loves her mochas, but that’s a bit pricy for me.   If I find the same machine at a discount store, can I purchase it there?   A : There is nothing...
Post a Comment
Read more