Skip Traditional Seating of the Mothers?

Dear Polite One,

I am the mother of the bride and would like to know if the mothers can skip walking down the aisle?

Our children are planning a small wedding for 130 in a sweet chapel. My parents are divorced and DO NOT get along. So, we would like to figure out a way so that we may all be seated without being taken down the aisle. Then, couldn’t we mothers and fathers stand up at some point when the music starts to light a unity candle? Afterward, my husband would walk back to be with our daughter.

Our children don’t really care about doing things the way “everyone” else does. Does this sound ok with you? We want this to be ALL about the kids. Everyone invited knows we’re the mothers.

Linda

Dear Linda,

Sure, any of these traditions can be changed. You can seat yourself anytime you wish. All four parents can light the candle at any time. Typically, though, this is part of the ceremony. Your husband could walk your daughter down the aisle and sit. Then at some time during the ceremony, the officiate could ask all of you to join the couple in lighting the unity candle.

Or he could walk her down the aisle, give her hand to her groom, escort you from your seat to the candles, the groom's parents now stand and do the same. Each couple represents one united person and light one candle each—two candles total. The couple then picks up the two candles and lights one together representing a united couple. Then the ceremony can begin. I've seen this done a few times as well.

So, you do have options. Best yet, you can create your own version.

Now, if you want to avoid walking down the aisle just because of your parents, they don't have to be a part of the equation. The grandmothers can be seated early, very early, then the groom's mother with you last. This could solve your problem.

Sincerely,

The Polite One

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