Got Wedding Etiquette?

  Top 5 Tips Over the top fantasy, fairytale weddings may be appealing in theory. But as the old saying goes, “All that glitters is not gold.”   Consider the wedding in the movie Father of the Bride .   As the wedding fiasco was in full force, Dad, Steve Martin, was embarrassed about the results.   Yes, a gigantic public display of over-indulgence can be cringe-worthy.   One must wonder what the wedding guests really thought about the wedding.   Considering the popularity of wedding-reality shows, does this create a false narrative that real-life might couple believe?   Do they consider their guests as they should?   Is it really "All about the couple"?   And should bridal couples treat their wedding day as an excuse to play dress up and treat their special guests as minions?   Let's put some real reality into wedding planning and rethink the current concept of the princess-for-the-day syndrome.   Most importantly, let's try t...

Wedding Etiquette for the Other Mother Traditionally, the mother of the bride has reigned queen, as the second most important person of the bridal party.   She and her daughter had complete control of nearly all wedding planning preparations.   And now we move into another era. Most weddings are planned and executed differently today with the bride and groom in the driver’s seat.   Isn't this how it should be?   After all, the couple is marrying, not the mother to her daughter.   Still, the role of mother of the bride plays a sacred role.   She is the last person seated before the wedding procession begins.   And many times, she is her daughter's escort.   However, there are at least two mothers involved here: what about the mother of the groom?   Often, she may feel left out and confused about her role in the modern wedding.   Let's address some of that confusion with answers to her wedding etiquette questions from The Polite On...

Every Wedding Anniversary is a Special Event Treat your honey to a quiet evening of just the two of you. That is the best present. Milestone Anniversary Couples Recreating Their Wedding She often wears her wedding gown.   Guests may have negative opinions if the wife wears a formal wedding gown not her own. The renewal ceremony should be a private affair and simpler than a wedding. Theme Event Exception When wife wishes to plan a themed vow renewal, she may wear a special dress.   But use good judgment.    Guests typically view this positively when the overall look of the event appears fun, and theme-based.   White dresses are appropriate.   White symbolizes joy and is not reserved for a bride. Please No Bachelor or Bachelorette Party   This celebrates the last night of freedom and as a married couple, this happened long ago.      Showers Originally, this was meant to shower a young bride with household it...

Avoid Overspending! Your wedding may be the most important event in your life, but please remember that you are marrying a person, not an event. You may be able to get everything looking perfect, but at what price? It may cost you the equivalent of the down payment on a house. A year's worth of investing. Or, perhaps your relationships with friends and family.  Enjoy the day! Live and lighten up. It is the love you feel and share, not the money spent that is important. How to invite guests to the wedding and not the reception? Dear Polite One, Our venue for the reception will only hold 120 people.  My guest list exceeds this greatly.  Is there a proper way to invite some people to the wedding but not the reception, and if so, how do you do that without offending anyone?    Bride Dear Bride,  I’m sorry, but all wedding guests are invited to the entire reception because the wedding is a gift-giving event.  To invite some and not all...

In wedding planning, there are a myriad of questions.  Some are easy to answer, some are intuitive and some...well, it’s best to call upon an expert.  I am here to answer these three unique questions and offer some sage advice. Deliver a Speech to Remember There are books with plenty of ideas on perfect speeches and  are worth a read. Anyone who speaks should keep it short and sweet.   Focus on your relationship with the couple and their love story.   This is not a time to play the comedian.   Best Man and Maid of Honor The speech should be short and sweet. It should reflect on your relationship and the couple.   Don't mention the bachelor, bachelorette, or any other potentially embarrassing events or moments.   Parents Avoid embarrassing your child. The speech should be short and reflective of your love and theirs.   Try to incorporate your support of the marriage. Must I accept the other woman’s ring? Dear Polite O...

Interestingly, our tradition of a bridal shower is rooted in the 1800s.   It began as a way for a young woman with no dowry to marry the man of her choosing.   Her friends and townspeople would supply her with the equivalent of one.   As this party evolved and spread to North America, it became, according to an etiquette book in the 1920s, completely spontaneous and informal.   It wasn't until the 1950s that party planners altered the party to give it more structure.   Still, even then, gifts were to be small, inexpensive items.   What happened?   Angry Guest Invited to Shower , but not the Reception Dear Polite One, My cousin invited me to an after-party – cocktails after the reception – and her shower.  The invitation for both these events included her registry information.   I am insulted, as it appears that I'm invited to give her gifts, but not to enjoy the wedding as one of the preferred guests.  ...

  Second Wedding Etiquette  Flowers are blooming; the days are warming, so it must be wedding season!   Most likely if invited to a wedding, it's an encore wedding.     Most are these days.    As an etiquette consultant, many of the questions I receive are from encore wedding guests. Questions concerning appropriate attire are the most often asked, but there are many more.    Questions?   I have you covered! As a guest to the bride's third wedding, what should I wear? As is true in all cases, guests should dress for the formality of the event.   Typically, we can discern the level of formality by the invitation, venue, and time of day.   Couples first convey formality through their invitations.   If, for example, the wedding is formal, the invitation is printed on heavy card stock using formal language.   The venue listed would seem more formal as well, such as a Catholic Church or upper-scale hotel.   N...